What You Don’t Know About Ladies In Your Church

Think about the things you don’t know about ladies in your church or other sisters in Christ…

I want to encourage you not to jump to conclusions.

You don’t know…

*how much they have prayed about something before they have done something you may not agree with. Stop judging so quickly and labeling and in some cases avoiding.

*if they are following the leadership they are Biblically asked to follow. (They may not wholeheartedly agree with their leadership but they’re following peacefully in faith). Commend her for being obedient instead of being upset. Pray for her, she may not be able to tell you.

*the amount of spiritual attacks they have faced while trying to do right, in the last day, week, month, year. It may be adding up.

*their heart is well-meaning even if they are ignorant on the things they are trying to do or help with or maybe the sins they commit. Young Christians and young people need grace and someone faithful to teach them.

*how care-taking may be playing a toll on their heart and mind. Mamas and women taking care of parents or special needs children don’t need more burdens from your opinions.

*their past or present and how stress taxes their heart from the trauma of dealing with whatever it was or is in their life. Sometimes the past haunts your present and sometimes the present can oppress people’s spirits because they may struggle with looking up at God rather than their burdens.

*that there may be hidden abuse in their life and they’re trying to make everything appear normal but they’re under the strain of doing things however the people in their life are wanting them to do it. In Christian circles some would not even know their sister-in-Christ is pasting a smile on her face because she doesn’t want you to know things aren’t 100% beautiful in her home.

*the silent lies Satan is whispering to them when they are alone. Lies from Satan are divisive and always trying to cause confusion and distraction from God.

*the temptations they are facing and how they may already be frustrated with themselves already for failing. Speak the truth in love when it’s needed, but don’t over preach/teach to people when they’re already beating themselves up.

*they feel a calling or God impressing them to do something and they are worried already that it will be a drastic change in their life and people will be critical of them. Big steps of obedience need encouragement. It’s God’s job to help people go and do what He wants.

We can only see so much into the lives of those around us. Use the Holy Spirit to give you discernment on how to speak and encourage people because you don’t know the situation behind a person’s smile, frown, or tears.

Proverbs 25:11, ” A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”

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Marks of a Joyful Mother Part 2

In the previous blog article we discussed how Christian motherhood should be joyful. There were so many ideas on my list that I personally did not want to cram them into one long post so here’s Part 2! Motherhood is more than being a mother of small children, kids grow up and teenagers need Mamas to remain joyful despite their own peaks and valleys. Joy is so closely associated not as an emotion but actions reflecting the heart. Don’t expect your kids to be happy to be in your family if joy is lacking in your heart and expressions of love toward them. Let’s push through our own fluctuations of emotions and allow God to shine through us no matter the age(s) of our children.

marks-of-a-joyful-mother-part-2

Reading and singing with your children. My most special moments as a mother have centered around reading books together and singing together. I have grown myself in reading books to our children. The Bible is a special book to read together, don’t neglect those opportunities to open up God’s Word and read it together. Family devotions are special but so is simply sharing those things God has been speaking to you about.

Singing hymns and spiritual songs is a favorite past time we enjoy. Occasionally we set out singing as I cook breakfast just singing song after song that we can think of or going around and singing each child’s request. It always lifts our spirits to sing of our Saviour and dwelling on spiritual truths together. The best joyful entertainment you can have is in reading God’s Word and singing praises to His name!

Asking for forgiveness and granting it to them. After months of a parental struggle with one of our children I was asking my mother-in-law for advice and she simply said, “Well sometimes you just have to forgive your children.” Duh… It struck me that I may have been the one who was keeping our relationship from moving forward because I could not let go of the repeated action(s) that were occurring. I did forgive him and we began connecting again.

On the flip-side I have been the offender who has needed to humble myself and ask my children for forgiveness. So far, when I do it genuinely from my heart, our children have been quick to grant forgiveness and quickly want to give me a hug to demonstrate things are right between us. Joy is hindered when we don’t keep things right between our children.

Laughing together (and sometimes at each other’s mistakes). My children love it when I mess up, whether it is answering a knock-knock joke wrong or mixing up my children’s names, they like to laugh. Create an atmosphere of comfort about being laughed at sometimes. You Mamas who are a little tighter wound, let your hair down a little and tell your kids funny stories from your childhood…i.e. Your most embarrassing moments and stuff like that. Kids are quick to catch the funny and the witty. Keep joke books around, listen to good clean comedians (Donald Davis is our favorite funny storyteller), and whatever else it is that tickles your Christian funny bone. Joy and laughter go joke-in-joke, I mean, hand-in-hand.

Teaching and learning from one another. One night while we were living with my in-laws (last year) my husband asked his mother about certain keys of music. In a matter of moments they took a  trip to the baby grand piano in their living room and in playing and discussing together his question was answered. She quickly helped him comprehend the subject matter.  It just shows it’s never too late to keep investing in your children.

Stay humble enough to realize that with all the knowledge out in this world, you simply cannot know it all, and your children will be growing and learning in different areas and may have some great insights and information you can also learn from. Joy comes in being able to reciprocate a transfer of knowledge one to another.

Praying for their heart’s desires and burdens. Somehow God can link what our children are going through straight to our Mama hearts (probably because of that link when they were living inside us). Good communication allows us to know what our children are wanting to do and those things that are weighing heavy on their hearts. Many parents suggest that tucking your children in at night will allow you the time to discuss things that their hearts may not tell you in the busy activity of the day. Yes, even at those older ages a stop by their room before bedroom can help!

Praying together helps to carry those things, both happy and sad, together to the Lord. Taking the time out of your day to pray with them can be very meaningful. It teaches them how the most “trivial” things can be brought before the Lord because He cares about our hopes and dreams as much as He does our  hard times of life. Praying about these things in their presence is a heart-connecting activity. Peaceful inner joy fills the hearts of mothers willing to pray with and for their children because while the answers to the prayers may be unknown, you have security in knowing the Lord is listening.

I am no perfect parent, and I wish that I was as beautiful as a Mom as so many others are. I battle in these areas but am finding each specific thing God highlighted in these articles are what makes my motherhood joyful. When I am doing these things in our life, then I have a joyful spirit. and our kids have a different type of Mama: one who cares about them more than herself and is cultivating a love for wholesome godly living. My goal is to encourage the nurture and admonish of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). Your joyful motherhood may look differently than mine, and that’s okay…whatever areas that makes your family life better and makes you Mama Joyful is what you need to keep doing. My suggestions and observances are not dogmatic scriptural musts, but just little gleanings through experience. I trust in your journey in motherhood you will have some pretty special gems of joyfulness to look at and cherish.

In the spirit of Mother’s Day, may you be filled with joy and growth in your relationships with your children! Happy Mother’s Day Ministry Mama!

Marks of a Joyful Mother Part 1

Christian motherhood should have marks of joyfulness! It is a responsibility of the souls God has placed in your possession the pursuit to help build and nurture the hearts of babes, children, teenagers, and adult children. Each stage of childhood encapsulates a new set of needs and adjustments that we must be in tune to and minister to according to what the Lord desires.

We know it’s a tough job, because there are unknown outcomes and personalities that may not respond to the last solution we used to help them. Parenting can be a hair-pulling experience when you desire desperately to raise your children for the Lord and you cannot figure out answers and worry they will not respond correctly to each situation that comes in their lives. With all the work involved the Bible explains in Psalm 113:9 God desires that we be joyful mothers. When God blesses the womb (or arms!) of a woman, He gives her a task to take care of that child, keep her home, and be joyful!

“He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.” Psalm 113:9

Throughout my life in experiences with other mothers and being a mother for eleven years now, I came up with this list of marks of Christian motherhood. I know that I am not an angelic mother with squeaky clean goody two-shoes. I am a P-Rex (Parenting Rex) that at times follows my children barking orders, lecturing about their poor manners in the social situations of the day, and being a big party pooper. Of course a little of that comes with the territory, but my desire is that our children have those precious memories of Mama when they think of me. That their thoughts will not be “Man, Mom yelled at us a lot,” but rather, “Mama was a tough cookie but she showed us she loved us every day and it was great to be a part of our family.” I’m just going to share with you some thoughts and ideas I have gleaned about being a joyful mother.

Greeting your children in the morning. Not barking at them or correcting them first thing out of your mouth, but welcoming them and speaking kindly. (Even to those who are lazy bones and like to sleep in). Gentleness should be a part of your morning to help the spirit of your home peaceful as long as you can. Gentle joy can have an effect on the whole day!

Getting up and being ready to serve your children.  How many times do we determine the tip of a waiter on their performance in service? Would you make any extra “tip money” if your children gave you a tip for your excellent servant-spirit for them? Don’t be a doormat, but realize that you as Mama, do have responsibilities that should not all be shoved over on your children. God convicts me at times when I am asking my children to do things that I should be doing for them. They are not supposed to be my little gophers getting every little thing that I want. If we truly believe our motherhood is a ministry and a service to our children then we should be ready to serve our family as an example of Christ’s love. When we’re old will our children serve us like we served them? Joyful motherhood comes in serving our children. 

Listening with focus and attention. When you hire a babysitter you expect they would have their phone put away, not staring at a screen answering texts, watching videos, or playing games. You would expect they would have their attention on your children so that they are alert to their safety and taking care of their needs. Listen Mamas, don’t expect more out of the babysitter than you expect out of yourself in the area of giving attention to your children. They have precious things to say, things to inform you about in terms of who they are and what they are thinking of, and even prayer requests.  Do whatever is necessary to stop what you are doing and listen to them when they are interrupting you during the mundane tasks or while you scroll away. Your children cannot be enjoyed when you are distracted.

Planning ways to spark their interest and keep your heart strings connected. Whatever family rut you are in, get out of it and find some fun things to do. Peruse Pinterest, check out the local deals for cheap activities, or invest some time buying new grocery items and make a new recipe. You can delve into their desires and interests if they are properly managed and learn about the things they are talking to you about. If it requires you do some research or introducing them to a person who knows more on their interest do it! Your hobbies, home business, and ministry should not get all of your creativity! Joy comes when we are able to connect with our children in enjoyable activities.

Celebrating and acknowledging little achievements of progress. In child training it can be easy to focus on the negatives, trying to train them to get them to do things “right” and correcting our children endlessly. The old saying goes, “If Mama ain’t happy then ain’t nobody happy…” but we can tweak it a little, “If Mama ain’t thankful, then ain’t nobody happy.” Take time to learn to train yourself to praise and acknowledge that you are seeing improvement in their struggles and personal goals. You don’t have to go overboard with prizes or rewards; to give a special hug or compliment alone can encourage them. A word of thanks can go a long way! For those of you with older children who “expect” them to get everything right because they already know what to do and how to do it, give them a pat on the back for all those jobs completed. Encouraging our children should bring joy to our hearts. 

We have such an impact on our family, let’s be plugged in to our actions and rely upon God’s guidance to help us continue to have those heart-to-heart joyful connections with our children. There are more suggestions on how to be a joyful mother in Part 2 of this article, be sure to look for it here on the blog very soon!