When Ministry Mamas Don’t Want To Go To Church…

It’s no joke that there are those church services we Ministry Mamas honestly would like to skip because we’re feeling down or we’re tired of dealing with the latest drama within the church congregation. You are not alone, Mama, others of us know how you feel. These things happen in big and small churches alike.

Some women experience weekly dread hours before they have to be in services on Wednesday night because of having to do the same ministry job every week . If you are in a small church you may be wondering why you go to church if you’re just going to be sitting in the nursery with your little toddler all alone each service. If you’re a mother of a baby you may be wondering why you go because you end up in the nursery every time feeding your baby or rescuing them from their separation anxiety. Or maybe you’re the church secretary and you just want to run away from all the requests and just be able to attend a church service in peace. You could be the one who is dreading that one person who says nerve grating things about your husband and you wish you could give her a piece of your mind but you can’t. Then again, your burden may not have to do with church work at all… It could be a home matter that stings and you wish one time you could have some silent peace around the house while everyone left and went to church without you.

Our thinking patterns and circumstances lead us into these feelings “I don’t want to go to church!” Don’t be tempted to be unfaithful ladies, it’s a real thing to regularly battles before church services. There’s a reason why they come up when they do and why fear and dread are closely associated with your thoughts on matters similar to these. Satan does not want you in God’s house with His people, listening to His Word. Plain and simple.

Today let’s think on the good and lovely things about church that get forgotten when those “I wish I could skip tonight” thoughts come.

Remember God’s Instructions

Hebrews 10:24,25 says, “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”

The word “forsaking” in the Greek (Strong’s #G1459) means, “to leave behind some place,” “desert or leave.” We can come to the place where we wish to leave church behind us because of the heartaches and frustrations, but God does not desire this for us. Church services are when the church assembles to meet together for the common purpose of worshiping God and learning from His Word. Assembling in the verses above means, “a complete collection,” “a gathering.” I want you to think a minute about your closest family members. Imagine if one of your family members (think of your favorite) did not attend family dinners would their presence be missed around the table?  If we are not assembling with our church then the collection of members is incomplete. You really are missed, even if outward pressures would cause you to believe otherwise. Church services are regular spiritual family reunions and our presence is required to make each service “complete.”

Find Fellowship 

Think of a person in your church who is an encourager. Make a point to get to where they are in the next church service and see how they are doing. Fellowship with someone to help fill that heart back up with good things. Remain friendly to other people, not to exclude them, but use one service to speak to someone, preferably a lady, who has that one-on-one God-connection that will encourage you. Or schedule time to get together with someone who inspires you to continue in your spiritual walk with God. Pick someone in your church… I know some of you avoid friendships with church members, but the purpose of the local church and its members is to encourage and lift each other up. You need the people in your church as much as they need you.

Minister Gladly to the Few

Be happy to minister even to a few. I already mentioned maybe you were a Ministry Mama who ended up in the nursery every week. OR you could be the one teaching the same small amount of preschoolers or senior saint ladies every week. Minister your heart out, Honey! No matter who or how many! Don’t become weary in well doing (Galatians 6:9, 2 Thessalonians 3:13).

Don’t skimp out because it’s just a handful of kids. Give them your love (God’s love through you combined with your own personality), share the Bible like you would to a big class. Let God direct your work. God does not work any differently in a big class than He does in a small class (unless of course the teacher doesn’t have a heart for the work). What you are doing in creating a love for God’s Word may spark a love for God that will last their entire lives. I am thinking of tiny churches specifically in the state of Kansas who have produced many wonderful ministry workers across the U.S. and the globe! They didn’t come from big mega-churches, they came from little “po-dunk” towns and small Baptist churches with humble teachers and preachers of God’s Word. You do not know which child in your midst will be a “somebody” for God!

Also, don’t let yourself get distracted by doing too many other things, I know all too well the temptation to clean out a cupboard and create a grocery list while kids are occupied during a church service. Sit down and enjoy who you are ministering to. Get to know who they are and what they like to do in those quiet moments (even if it’s your own child every week). Godly seeds sown today in the place where you are may reap a bountiful harvest you never expected.

Take Time at the Altar

If you’re a regular altar worker or pianist for your church you may be accustomed to helping others with their needs and not taking your own before the Lord during the church invitation. It’s okay to pray for your needs too!

As a freshman in Bible college I would bum rides off of others to get back and forth from the college campus to the church where we attended. I often rode with 3 girls and 1 guy, two of the girls were sisters and the other two were brother and sister. They had known each other for years and had sung together often in their youth group prior to Bible college. On the ride home they would sing a song about the church altar. The song described the purpose of the church altar and invited people to come and bring their burdens to the Lord. I can imagine their voices harmonizing tonight while I write this. The message impressing upon me then was the importance of going to the altar.  That first year there was not a service that went by that God did not compel me to go to the altar for some reason, and I am so glad the time was set aside during every service for me to make my heart and life right with the Lord.

The invitation is not for everyone else except you just because you may hold a special title of “Pastor’s Wife,” “Choir Member,” etc. Take some time to leave your church pew and bow before the Lord and just lay it all out . Don’t feel guilty.  As a friend used to say, “The altar is not for bad people, it’s for every one.” Even ministry wives who dread going to church.


We’re in a battle gals, the spiritual warfare waged against us is often not acknowledged or correlated with the thoughts and anxieties that sometimes come over us regarding those things linked so closely with church attendance. Whatever your reason is, lay it at His feet. I know my blog posts have been longer lately. I want to give you encouragement with meat enough to help you take the steps to be successful at some of these things where you may be struggling. My new favorite repeated quote for you must be said again, “God is there…” Trust Him to help you with this problem too. Break those thinking patterns and find joy in attending church again.


Q&A: Greeting Cards, Care Packages, Staff Hospitality

Greeting Cards, Care Packages, Staff Hospitality

Questions on this list are an interesting variety of ministry or Christian living questions and all the answers come from ministry wives from questions that we put up on the Ministry Mamas Facebook page. We used to have an “Ask ? Friday” time to ask questions but have now moved it to Q&A Tuesday for ministry women to ask questions and have other women chime in on being an encouragement or practical helps and advice. If you want to have a part in that please join us there!

Q: “Where do you buy good quality KJV (King James Version) greeting cards?”

  • Christianbook.com
  • DaySpring
  • We sell them as a fundraiser.
  • Sword of the Lord publishers.

Q: “I am organizing some things to do for our Bible College students every month to keep them encouraged as they are away from home. I need some creative and unique ideas to make the encouragement vary from month to month. What are your ideas? All suggestions welcome!”

  • Include postcards that are stamped and already addressed home to Mama. Quarters for laundry are always welcomed. Gas cards if they have a vehicle. Snacks packed in Pringles cans travel best. Microwave pop corn. Christmas music in October. 
  • Care packages,whether it be a simple pack of cookies with a note of encouragement with a verse,or something along that line. Just letting them know you are thinking of them.
  • I send the girls pretty things they may not have money for. Nail polish and accessories, pretty notepaper and pens, even goofy stuff like stickers and Legos and candy were loved!
    One year, a church lady made goofy packages for everyone…and she sewed the boys pillowcases out of funky pink fabric! Everyone laughed and teased the boys. BUT both boys used that pillowcase all four years of college and loved it!!!
  • I would echo quarters, also school supplies (pens, highlighters, notebooks, etc), even some toiletries and goodies. Whatever you send them will be appreciated, I’m sure! What a blessing!
  • As the mother of a college student, the most practical thing to give is Walmart gift cards. That way they can get exactly what they need. Just make sure there is a Walmart near the campus! 
  • You can also get ideas from our Ministry Mamas Gift Ideas for Bible College Students Pinterest Board.

Q: “Do you have any suggestions on materials to provide parents of a wayward child? Books, websites, other resources? We would like to help a family in our church but we’re not sure where to start.”

  • Stormie Omartian‘s book Praying for your Adult children is a great book.
  • Debi Pryde has a book called Parenting with Wisdom (formerly called Precept upon Precept). I have not read this book but Debi Pryde is fantastic! She is a biblical counselor whose biblical counseling course I have taken and I also have read about 6 of her other books. Her books are available on amazon and also her website www.debipryde.com. Also Kevin Lehman has a book called Adolescence Isn’t Terminal. I don’t agree with Dr. Lehman on several issues, but this book I believe is spot-on. He really addresses many topics you won’t find addressed. in many other books. What I also personally recommend to parents dealing with this is fasting and praying. I know that sounds obvious, but I have seen the effectiveness in fasting come through with helping kids or asking the Lord for wisdom and grace.
  • DVDs by Pastor S.M. Davis are great. His resources can be found at solvingfamilyproblems.org.

Note: I personally have not checked out all the suggested books or resources on this question, so please evaluate them according to your own personal convictions and preferences.

Q: “We regularly try to love on our church staff and have them over for dinner and make it a point to show love to their children on their birthdays and during the holidays. We’re finding that they do not choose to reciprocate the love in ever inviting us over to their home. They are grateful for what we do for them, it isn’t that. I am just wondering if there is anything I can do to encourage them not to worry about our expectations of their home or if I should change what we are doing since they are not giving much back. Give me your thoughts…”

Are you doing this to please people or to please God? I say to continue doing what you are doing even if they are not reciprocating, you are pleasing God and that’s what matters most. 

Hmmm…I think what struck me in this question is “they choose not to reciprocate their love in ever inviting us over.” Not everyone is a gifted hostess or feels comfortable having people in their home. Maybe they are reciprocating their love for you in a different way? It may be that they don’t have any church members over to their house for fear of appearing like they are playing favorites. Or maybe they are just very protective of the little family time they have. I know it’s hard not to take it personally…

Keep doing what God has laid on your heart and great will be your reward in Heaven, they may feel a little intimated by you I know I was when I had my pastor’s wife as my secret sister, I didn’t need to be, she is such a sweetheart and it was a wonderful year surprising her and being a blessing but most of all joining her in prayer!

Check out many of our other Q&A articles:

When God Closes a Door – What do you do?

When God Closes A Door

Have you ever been in line at a store or public event to receive a special freebie they were handing out. Only to be disappointed that by the time you arrived at the front of the line, they run out? I have and it feels like  a wave of disappointment washes over you and you are left empty-handed.

Similarly, is the feeling that may occur in your life when what is perceived to be an open door of God’s perfect will for your life is closed. You may feel disappointed and left empty-handed and down-hearted.

What do you do when God closes a door?

You keep walking and you keep waiting.

  1. You keep walking with the Lord.

Don’t turn and run away from God because the door is closed. Think of the lyrics of Trust and Obey, the familiar hymn, by John H. Sammis:

When we walk with the Lord, in the light of His Word, what a glory He sheds on our way. When we do His good will, He abides with us still. And with all who will trust and obey.

Keep praying and talking to the Lord about your disappointments and desires.  Listen to His still small voice’s reassurance of His presence in your life as you read your Bible, He abides with you still, just trust and obey.

2. You keep waiting on His perfect timing.

The Bible has many reassuring accounts of God’s perfect timing in the lives of His people:

  • Abraham and Sarah’s waiting for Isaac
  • Christ’s perfect timing to be born after the promise of His coming hundreds of years before His birth by the prophets
  • Mary and Martha’s waiting four days for Christ to appear after the death of Lazarus to see him resurrected

God’s timing is marked throughout the entire Bible and when it is waited on and carried out it is perfect!  Your life and walk with the Lord is not any different that the examples of faith and timing that were mentioned above. God’s design is still the same, His timing will reflect a conscious plan for your life in the same way.

Watching and waiting. Two simple words that can explain a great principle of obedience in the questionable moments of life. Read Psalm 27:14 “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.”