The Case for Biblical Modesty: Being Discreet & Chaste

The Case for Biblical Modesty - Discreet & ChasteThere is a Biblical case for modesty! Women either love this topic or they hate it…

When I talk about modesty most people will automatically understand, others will not. I simply mean, the covering of your body as not to distract. And when I talk about intentional modesty, it is something done with thoughtfulness and carefulness.

You can relate intentional modesty to that of a bride getting ready for her wedding. The dress is chosen and fitted, the details of the flowers, the shoes, and the perfect jewelry. The bride is intentional about her dress on one special day for one special man, for one special covenant, marriage. Our dress every other day should be similarly thought out and planned because intentional modesty can be just as beautiful as a wedding dress when a godly woman adorns herself to please the Lord.

The Biblical basis by which I am sharing this with you today is found in Titus 2:4 which explains that older women should teach younger women to be discreet and chaste.

“To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:4

Discreet in this text according to Strong’s Biblical Concordance means: of a sound mind, sane, in one’s senses; curbing one’s desires and impulses, self-controlled, temperate

Chaste according to Strong’s means: properly, clean, (figuratively) innocent, modest, perfect: – chaste, clean, and pure. Purity from carnality and fault.

The order in this verse is right,  we have to be discreet first before we decide to be chaste. Notice discreet means: “of a sound mind” and “curbing one’s desires and impulses.” What we act out or do is a direct result of what we think about.

We have to get the issue of dress established in our minds and hearts before we will decide that we will dress to be chaste and modest.

Modesty in our clothing choices, is a decision to put out of our mind the thought of pleasing others with what we wear. Women seek to please others in many areas, whether it be pleasing men by wearing clothes that accentuate the body or pleasing their peers by trying to fit in to a certain clothing style that our friends or desired friends have. Modesty should have God in mind at all times.

Little girls that wear big fluffy dresses tend to twirl in them and watch as the skirt comes in close and wraps around their legs and as they turn the opposite way, it ruffles back out to wrap around them again. Our dress can determine our behavior. How we act in what we wear often gives away our heart’s intention of our clothing choices. Some people truly have not learned how to dress or act modestly… others choose to be immodest to attract unrighteous attention to their bodies to satisfy their own desires for acceptance or lust.

At the point of salvation, we become a new creation. Ephesians 4 speaks about putting off the former conversation (lifestyle) and putting on the new man who after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

If there is an old lifestyle in which we wore certain clothes and behaved a certain way wearing them and God tells us to put away those lifestyles, then naturally, we should put away these clothes.

If our clothing sparks a desire in us to be impulsive sinfully (the opposite of discreet) then we should recognize that red flag immediately and get rid of that clothing. We can immediately think of the type of clothing that we wear that makes us want to walk differently and act differently. Now think of the clothes that make you feel like a beautiful ambassador, as God’s child, the kind that make you proud to serve the Lord. These two types of clothes should be very different, like water and oil, they should not mix.

As a new creature our outward appearance should reflect something new, lovely, and righteous!

You may be thinking, “well, I already put away all of my old clothes that tempted me to have a lack of self-control and do things that were not godly, what now?” It would be easy to make a list of do’s and don’ts but it would just be easier for you to consult God each day about the clothes that you put on and allow the Holy Spirit to speak in your heart as you go through your day so that when you notice the private parts of your body being shown or accentuated or the spark of lust that makes you want a man to look at you in a sexual way, you will quickly be alert and repent. Then, if God tells you that you probably should put that shirt or other article of clothing in the trash can, you will do it gladly because you now have an understanding that modesty begins in the heart by obedience.

There are practical helps that I like to give to people to help them understand how to keep themselves covered and modest while doing real-life every day activities, but today I just want you to look into God’s Word out of this one simple verse and test your heart and your wardrobe yourself without any thoughts about my list or ideas and whether you think that type of clothing is right or not.

“To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:4

When you are in transition from your former lifestyle and your new one, God has a way of working on one article of clothing at a time, beautifying women that really want to please Him. He likes producing women to look godly in their modesty! He continues to speak to women as they grow in Him about their clothing, always helping women maintain discretion and chastity. Be willing to do whatever He asks you to do with your clothes. If God knows how to clothe the lily of the field, then He can clothe you modestly.

Matthew 6:28-30 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

A word of warning, when you buck the Holy Spirit when He speaks quietly in your heart, then your heart hardens toward God’s voice. If you harden your heart long enough, then you won’t even listen to what He has to say about anything in your life, least of all your clothes. Discretion and chastity go out the window like a piece of litter. The choice to reject God’s promptings by the Holy Spirit is to choose the way of impurity.

Impulsive and sinful decisions leave blotches of impurity on the heart and life of God’s child that sometimes even though they can be forgiven, are not easily wiped away or forgotten.

Be wise dear women, and listen to God’s biblical case for modesty by studying and learning His Word, and allow Him to make changes in your heart and wardrobe if He wants to.

We will learn more about the reason we should be modest in our biblical case for modesty in The Case for Biblical Modesty: God’s True Purpose. It’s amazing how God’s Word can teach us just what we need to be what He wants us to be. If this topic bothers you, then please pray and ask God “Is there something in my life that I need to change?” Then listen… you might be surprised at what He has to say!

Gift Idea List for Traveling Missionaries

Want to know the best gifts for missionary families on the road traveling from church to church on deputation? Lots of ladies in churches around the country and even missionary wives have helped compile this list for families, men, women, babies, children, their car, and their ministry.

Gift Ideas for Traveling Missionaries (Luggage)

Missions Conferences and other special services allow us the opportunity to be able to be a blessing to many other families. Missionary couples and families are on the road for weeks and months at a time and sometimes that is a challenge. All the big items we would like to give a family might not fit into their vehicle, that is why we have compiled this list of gift ideas, to help you know that the bigger an item is, in this case, is not always better.

One great way to find out what a missionary and their family need is ASK! Many churches send the family an e-mail prior to their arrival to their church to find out exactly what they really need. You could create an easy copy and paste form you can put into your e-mails to send. Remember if you do this well in advance, it will give the busy missionary time to reply and time for you to buy well before they arrive.

Now, for the gift list:

Gifts only a Missionary Could Love…

  1. Gift cards, gift cards, gift cards! – They’re packed full of money and able to fit anywhere! (For restaurants both fast food and sit down, gas, Wal-mart, Target, other department stores the entire family can shop in, shoe stores,  Visa gift cards, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Jiffy Lube)
  2. Cash, Cash, and more cash! Okay, so let’s be practical, traveling and families cost money, and we do not always know the needs that need to be met, so this can be a BIG blessing.
  3. Healthy Snacks* – Fresh fruit & granola bars were on the top of the list of healthy snacks missionaries love
  4. Water bottles and drinks in easy-open containers
  5. Microwave foods that do not need refrigeration.*
  6. Hand Sanitizer
  7. Instant Spot Remover Pens or Shout wipes
  8. Kleenex
  9. Christian Music CD’s**
  10. Family Friendly DVD’s**
  11. Postage Stamps
  12. Quarters for the laundromat
  13. Maps, coupons, and tracts to your church so they can travel around your town without getting lost and invite folks to your church.
  14. Gum and Mints
  15. A digital camera, SD cards, or memory sticks
  16. USB travel charger that can charge cameras and other electronic devices
  17. Car Organizer for the back of a seat
  18. Sunscreen
  19. Package these lovely gifts into easy to pack packages, such as, large Rubbermaid containers that can be recycled for other purposes during their travels
  20. The gift of TIME. Each family needs time to rest in their hotel, to do their homeschooling, to do their personal shopping, and wash their laundry. Please be mindful that even if they are there for your services that they need time to relax, study, and shake themselves loose of car time.

For Men

  1. Flashlights
  2. Shine his shoes or buy him new shoes
  3. Buy him a new suit
  4. Bible Software
  5. Take him for a haircut
  6. E-books or gift cards for e-books
  7. Suitcase
  8. Sermon CD’s or audio books**
  9. Free dry-cleaning at a business you trust
  10. A laptop or other needed computer equipment

For Babies

  1. Linkadoos or Bright Starts links- These are little links that can attach around the strap of a car seat or on the back of a head rest, add toys to the links, and a child can play without dropping the toy all the way to the floor
  2. Diapers, wipes, and disposable diaper trash bags
  3. Snack Traps or Catchers and bowls that hold snacks inside without making a mess
  4. A sippy cup
  5. Travel toys
  6. A small backpack like a Skip Hop Zoo backpack
  7. Window shade
  8. Board books
  9. Baby Mirror
  10. My Little Seat Infant seats Travel High Chair for 6+ months
  11. Melissa & Doug chunky puzzles
  12. Bibs
  13. Baby neck pillow
  14. Disposable stick-on placemats
  15. Squeezable infant baby food or infant bowls and spoons

For Kids

  1. Small hand-held games
  2. Bubbles or bubble bath
  3. Little notebooks and pens
  4. A Bible Cover to protect their Bible because it is in and out of the car all the time.
  5. Crayola Color Wonders Marker sets
  6. Make a notebook full of scavenger hunts and road games printed off the internet. Make an extra notebook so parents can play in the front seat too.
  7. Dot-to-Dot and other fun activity books
  8. Flashlights and glow sticks for night travel
  9. Chuck E. Cheese or McDonald’s gift cards just for them*
  10. A family pass to the zoo or science museums. Many zoos and science museums accept these passes at multiple locations across the country. A little research can find out what type of pass is most accepted.
  11. Take their family to a local park or children’s museum to get them out of the car!
  12. Spending money
  13. Children’s magazines like Highlights, Zoo Books, Nature Friend Magazine
  14. Window Clings
  15. Brain Quest games come in different grade levels as well as a family vacation set
  16. Magnetic or flannel book sets
  17. Children’s Bible songs, books with an audio CD, or other type of audio book**
  18. A t-shirt or hat with your city, state, or local sports team
  19. Stickers
  20. I Spy books or Where’s Waldo books

For Women

  1. Take her to the salon for a haircut, manicure or pedicure.
  2. Give her specified money or gift cards just for her. No spending for husband or children allowed!
  3. Do you have a lady in your church that could give them a makeover? Think Mary Kay representatives or some one with a genuine talent for making ladies look beautiful that might provide them with samples or products they can use. This would be a gift, not a sales opportunity.
  4. A shopping trip to buy a new outfit or pair of shoes
  5. Bath & Body Works products and other nice lotions and body products
  6. Facial cleansing wipes
  7. E-books or gift cards for e-books
  8. A single rose bud or other flower in their hotel room, bedroom, to take with them on their drive
  9. A cute travel cup
  10. Free babysitting for a few hours by a trusted church member so she can go shopping, out on a date, or take a nap

For the Car

  1. Check the car for needed repairs and maintenance, including tires
  2. Fill it with gas when they get into town or before they leave
  3. Give it a bath! Take it out for a car wash.
  4. A Garmin or GPS system that will give them directions
  5. The Next Exit Book ($15 at Cracker Barrel) tells all the exits in the U.S., what restaurants, hotels, etc. that are at each exit

For Their Ministry

  1. Read their missions letter or e-mails to find out the needs they have for their particular ministry and find a way to give the items or money needed.
  2. Be faithful to pray for them, each missionary family desires that people truly pray that God will lead, guide, and protect them while they are traveling and while they are serving Him.
  3. Some ministries need Sunday School curriculum, speakers for sound systems, pews or chairs for their new building, hymnals. Look around your building and in your storage rooms to see if there is something of quality that you can give. Offer to ship these large items and take the burden of the cost from their shoulders. They may not be able to travel with these type of items or it may be a burden to their travels to pay for shipping.
  4. Make a new copy of their ministry presentation if they have an old or scratched DVD. This can help them as they present to other churches without any glitches. Make sure that the copy you give them works entirely and you give both copies to them.
  5. Provide listening ears! Listen to their stories, their blessings, and their struggles. Encourage them when they need your advice or feedback.
  6. Pray with them. Pray with them as they are with you and share their needs and burdens. Then, pray with them before they leave town. A heart that truly listens to another will take the burdens off of the other person and take them to the Lord in prayer. To go to Him with their needs is truly a special gift.

*Find out about allergies and food preferences ahead of time if you can. To buy a bunch of snacks the family is allergic to will be a waste of money and go against your good efforts of being a blessing. Remember the season, chocolate in the car during the summer doesn’t work out very well.

**And with books, movies or music, when in doubt, ask!

While these lists are not exhaustive, these are tried and proven gifts that have pleased many missionary families. We always wish to be a blessing and not a burden to those traveling on deputation. Their duty to report to the churches is a greater duty because it involves living their daily life inside a vehicle.

Caring for missionaries is a hospitable task that should be a joy to you because they are serving the Lord in areas where you cannot go yourself to preach and teach the gospel. Give and give abundantly to meet their needs! And someday, you may be in their shoes.

I owe a special thanks to the many other ladies that have contributed their ideas and time so that we could compile such a great list. Thank you!

Focus on the Family Kid’s Korner Vacation Review

FOF Kid's Korner

Our vacation was very blessed and I wanted to give a review of the Focus on the Family Kid’s Korner and Discovery Emporium in Colorado Springs, Colorado. The Kid’s Korner is an adventure for children of all ages! and maybe even an adventure for adults also!

As you can tell we took our Flat Stanley with us, he will show you many special things about Kid’s Korner!

Fun For Kids

  • An airplane to climb inside that has a secret passage that leads to another play area.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
  • An inside jungle gym for older children.
  • If your family loves Adventures in Odyssey then they will enjoy seeing the familiar characters, Whit, Connie, Eugene, and eating in the Whit’s End Soda Shoppe. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
  • The A-Bend-A-Go Slide that is 3 stories high. This slide is for children 43.5 inches tall to 5’9″. Even my husband went on it but said it was very tight on the cork screws as he went down. There is a smaller slide in the area for children that are smaller than the height requirement for the large slide.
  • A toddler foam equipment area just for children their age in a room that is separated from the other play areas from the big kids. There is a nursing room in the building, but not on the same floor as the children’s play area.
  • A video area called the “Video Cave” where they were playing a Veggie Tales video. (Where the kids and I are together in the main photo above.)
  • Whit’s Discovery Emporium Room was full of fun activities such as dressing up like the Adventures in Odyssey characters (our son below) and playing on a stage, a puppet show area, the photo prop stage where we placed our faces through the holes (some of our photos in the main picture above). Then, there was a small area where you could sit and read books, and rotating character blocks where you can swivel the blocks and change the person’s head, clothes, and feet. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
  • The Narnia Room had a neat wardrobe door to walk through that went into a room where you could see a large picture of Aslan the lion and a few trees that made it look like the first entry to the forest. This room was very small, and much less than we had expected. We were hoping to see a room filled with Narnia themed items where the children could play but it was more like a photo-op area.                                               OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
  • 3 Scavenger Hunts were available for the children to go around the entire area and find hidden items. We saw several groups searching with smiles for the scavenger hunt items.

Great for Parents

  • What we loved about the Kid’s Korner & Discovery Emporium at Focus on the Family was that it was FREE!
  • We ate lunch early in the Soda Shoppe with most meals being between $3-$6 each with several options available such as a sandwich, a beef hotdog, and chicken nuggets with smiley face fries, apple slices or cookies. My husband enjoyed a large ice cream topped with a cherry and sprinkles. I had amazing flavored tea! We felt like we could eat in the Soda Shoppe because we did not pay for admission.
  • Safety First! As you enter the area to go down to the children’s area you check in with an attendant and register on a computer your name and the number of adults and children with you. Then we were given a sticker to wear on your shirt through the entire visit.
  • You can bring a picnic lunch and eat in the Soda Shoppe or outside at the picnic area.
  • Clean restrooms. The restrooms were very nice and clean, which says a lot about a place.
  • All play areas were easily accessible for adults. In other words, there were no small nooks and crannies where you could not fit if you had to chase or rescue your child. As you can see, my husband, is inside the tunnel that leads from the airplane into another area.  OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
  • We saw 2 or 3 birthday party areas that looked as if you wanted to reserve them that it was free by the signs that were posted. One of the rooms was a fire house theme with Whit dressed up as a fireman inside.
  • Hours of play time! We had not planned to spend as much time as we did there since we were still needing to travel on the day that we went. We all enjoyed it so much that we stayed longer than we had planned. There is enough to do at the Kid’s Korner to stay for several hours without getting bored.

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Don’t Believe the Reviews Online

Before going for our visit I went online looking for reviews and tips about what to expect in visiting the Kid’s Korner and Discovery Emporium at Focus on the Family and found some okay reviews and lots of bad reviews from people who were opposed to Focus on the Family in general. Several people said that they felt as if they were snubbed because of their looks, that they heard music and Christian propaganda being played in the speakers, and I want to say, that we felt no such attitude and heard no music playing that day in the play area. Other reviewers seemed to be against the entire place without having ever visited, so if you read those reviews, look for other less opinionated reviews before making your choice to visit. This is a place where both Christians and non-Christians could come with no pressure whatsoever to be or do something you are not.

The Bookstore

We did also go to their bookstore and walked through some of the other hallways in the Focus on the Family building. The bookstore is very large and our kids actually listened to a story time that they were having before we went down to the kid’s area. The story time was great but the music they had the kids sing and dance to was very contemporary. They were given balloon animals and treated very kindly and respectfully, even when Tres, our 3-year-old spoke out about something that no one even understood.

The bookstore is like most Christian bookstores, you have to pick the right types of books that go with your Biblical standards.

A Personal Note and Opinion

In one of the hallways there is a history of James Dobson and his work in writing books and creating the Focus on the Family area and group. This display gave us the feeling that he was being more exalted for his work as a psychologist than his work being something that God allowed him to do for His glory.

We believe that Biblical Counseling honors God in the best way because it teaches people what God’s Word says about topics and then teaches them how to apply the Word to their lives and live for God. America’s families do need help with the attacks that Satan is placing upon the home, but they need Biblical advice, not popular psychology. These things were bothersome to our beliefs, but it did not separate that they have a great play area for children that is safe, clean, and affordable.

We would recommend that if you are in the Colorado Springs area to go by and visit the Kid’s Korner at Focus on the Family.

This would be a great stop for families on vacation and deputation. We hope that this review gives people an honest view of the children’s area at the center. We look forward to another chance to be able to visit again!