Category: Mama Hood

How God Taught Me to Take Time for My Kids ~Guest Post~

Ministry Mamas, I want to share with you a special testimony from a fellow ministry wife and mother named Mindy. She has served in the ministry for 15 years. She now serves beside her husband in the state of Kansas. She and her husband have two beautiful daughters, ages 7 and 10.  Not only is she a busy lady in ministry she suffers from a connective tissue disorder that causes her joints to dislocate and causes discomfort that effects her life daily.

She is busy homeschooling, taking her daughters to therapy (her oldest has Aspergers, and her youngest was blessed with her genes). She also is busy with chores, cleaning the  her home, driving to music lessons, swim therapy, grocery shopping, and helping her husband with secretary projects. All of those things do not include the cuties she has at church! Does any of this sound familiar to you?? I am sure that you can relate in your own way.

She recently had a day in which God showed her some very valuable things through talking with her daughters that I think will touch your heart.

Here is her testimony in her own words:

My oldest daughter was having a hard time focusing on school and had a headache. I sent her upstairs to lay down and came up about ten minutes later to see how she was. I found her sobbing. I asked what was wrong and she began to unload. She was overwhelmed by all that we do every day. She said that life was so hard and that she NEVER got to have fun because she was always “on the go.” She explained she never had time to just play with her toys. I know she is not a selfish girl and that these were real problems and that she seemed extremely overwhelmed.

My 7-year-old was listening and began to cry too. She said that she has a bully in her heart and that she was fighting to keep a right spirit and not be mean to her sister or have a bad attitude. Her exact words were, “Why is life SO hard!?”

Wow! Talk about feeling like a big fat failure! I listened and absorbed what they were saying and was careful not to discount their very raw emotions. My first thought was “they are totally trying to get out of school work.” Then, the Holy Spirit smote my heart and somehow I knew they were really struggling.

The Dilemma

I know I am busy but I never thought that I was over-serving or over-committed. I didn’t know what to say… So, I prayed. I asked God for an “I love you” from Him just for my girls. I don’t want them to grow up and hate the ministry or despise homeschooling.

I Love You’s From God

When my husband got home that day he brought them flowers!! He had NO idea that they had a rough day so it was totally mind-blowing to them. He also took them out to do some errands with him, but before he left he decided to check the mail. In the mailbox was a letter from a visitor to our church that visited a few weeks earlier. She said she was so touched by the sermon and illustration that my husband told about my girls’ answered prayers that she wanted them to have a gift card for them to go shopping. At that point both of our girls burst into tears and began to thank God for the “hug” from heaven.

It is truly amazing the lengths that God will go through to prove Himself to my children! I am thankful for a God that cares enough to reach down and “hug” my two beautiful girls.

6 Lessons from a Busy Ministry Mama

Lessons I Would Like to Share with You

1. Don’t underestimate the pressure your children are under, even when they don’t display signs of stress.  This situation for us came out of no where.
2. Make more time for down time! Sometimes the kitchen floor can wait. Do something fun! Someone once told me, “It is more important to read a book to your child than to have your bed made.”
3. Listen to your children and encourage them to talk to you. Reassure them that they will not get in trouble for telling you they don’t like something or are struggling. You will never know the extent of the trouble they face unless they trust you enough to speak to you about it.
4. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Ladies, we can only do so much. I am not a perfect mom. I am limited to what I can do with them physically but I need to keep them physically and socially healthy. Go easy on yourself. You are only one person and the _______ can probably wait until tomorrow.
5. Do not be so focused on life that you forget those you live with! Sometimes I can be so goal-oriented that I forget that those two duties are running behind me as fast as their little leggies can go. Stop and smile, hug them and hold on for more than 45 seconds (that is when the stress release hormone is released). Tell them you love them several times a day.
6. Pray with them and for them. Pray for God to increase their faith. Remind them that any good thing that they have come from Jesus. When you have a blessing share it with them. If you have a prayer request, share it with them and then when it is answered, tell them about it.

A Final Note from The Ministry Mama

As I read Mindy’s testimony for the first time before approaching her to publish it here on The Ministry Mama, I was touched and convicted. As I reread it for editing purposes, I am touched again and again. She is right when she says that we should not get so busy in life and ministry that we forget those we live with.  I pray that as you may see a bit of yourself and your children in this personal story, that you would be able to also grow from her helpfulness. Mindy breaks it down so simply in easy lessons that we can each carry out into our lives.

If God speaks to you about this, please pray and ask Him now to help you do something specifically from this article today to help keep the lines of communication open between you and your children.

Hugs to you all, you are not alone in feeling too busy, just take time to push “pause” when you need to, and I believe that you can still be one of the greatest influences in your children’s lives!

My Son’s Answered Prayers

Uno, our oldest son, is about to turn 9 in November and I was able to witness God answer ones of his prayers in a most special way. These are the stories about ministry and the Christian life that I love to hear, but when they happen to those you love it seems to hold a particularly special place in your heart.

We have lived in our neighborhood for five years now and it has been very hard for us to get to know the neighbors. Beyond first introductions and conversations here and there we really only see them one time a year they get together out in the street and pop fireworks on the 4th of July. We all bring out lawn chairs and let the kids play with sparklers and watch the adult men run like wild Indians to get away from the fireworks before they go off.  Even our next door neighbors with sometimes 7 children (with their foster kids) do not even go into the backyard very much. The culture here is very different from the friendly Midwest where we lived before, and it has been hard for us to connect and overcome the barriers that everyone seems to have.

Uno ~ Late Summer 2013

Last October on an especially warm day, a boy around my son’s age, whom we will call “Blake” rode his bike down by our house while our kids were riding in the cul-de-sac. He quickly befriended Uno and they were off to racing around. He was friendly to all of us and very kind even to our younger girls. Uno has listened for years about how we need to invite friends to church, so within the first few minutes he ran inside of his own accord and picked up an invitation to our Fall Festival. When Blake returned from a trek home, he tried to give him the invitation but he said, “Oh, that’s okay, I can’t take that because we don’t go to church.” Our son did not seem phased but was secretly disappointed. I encouraged him that he had done his best and that is what that mattered to God.

For several weeks we would purposely sit outside even in the chilly weather hoping that Uno could see Blake again and spend time with him. He quickly became the primary prayer request when we prayed for lost people. Our entire goal for getting to know him and his friends is for their salvation. Despite our efforts our children have not ever had visitors outside of family members come to church before. This has always made our son feel disappointed when there are big incentives at church for children who bring visitors, so he has desired this for a long time.

We saw Blake several times off and on through the winter and spring and cheerfully wave to him as we drove by. His dad fixes up mini-motorized bicycles and we see their garage door open often. This summer we were able to spend a little more time with him and meet his little sister, “Briana” when we were prepping for our garage sales. I would leave our garage open and all the kids would play either in the garage or on the street. It was good for them to be over at our house for me to see how they behave. Blake and his friends are all very respectful and treat each other nicely (at least in front of me!) and that is something I appreciate.

The opportunity to invite Blake to church has been difficult but Uno has never given up on him. Then, this week the answer to prayer came…unexpectedly.

We had a Family Crusade this week and my son had been itching to go down the street to invite Blake and his friend Marcos. We had not taken him down prior to the beginning of the crusade, but Uno’s persistence paid off when my husband took the time to take him down the street with our guest speaker, Ed Dunlop. Bro. Ed normally does Kids’ Crusades around the country and has had experience building bus routes for churches also. He carries with him a pocket full of balloons so that he can twist them into fun things kids enjoy. His strategy is to give them away at the door so that it will give the family time to let down their guard and be open to receiving the information about the crusade as well as the gospel. I think in this case it worked!

After a while, I heard Uno and Dos come in the door and instantly they said “Blake is going to ride the bus!” I think my jaw dropped and I did a double-take because that is nothing short of a miracle. In my heart I had always hoped but with the negative responses I was doubtful, which was evidence of my own little faith.

That evening, we were pulling out of our driveway and I was able to witness when the bus arrived in front of Blake’s house. Blake came out and then out came his younger sister, Briana. His mom came out to greet the bus workers with a smile.  The workers talked to her for a few minutes and she gave the kids a hug and they stepped onto the church bus for the very first time in their lives and then into church for the first time.

In the middle of the church program Blake looked over at Uno and said, “This is really fun!” On their bus ride home, Blake was already planning to come the following night with hopes that he could bring enough visitors to win the 24 inch pizza given away every night for the person that brought the most visitors. He came the next night and brought his older sister, Brittany, and two other neighbor kids, Anna and James. On the last night all of those friends came back and Marcos too.

We were amazed at God’s answers to our son’s prayers and the eager desire Blake had to bring his friends with him to church. We were not expecting the number of results from God’s Holy Spirit working in their lives. Blake’s sister Brittany, and his friends Anna and James received Christ to be their Saviour!!

It took one year of prayers, invitations, some bright-colored balloons, Bible-centered messages about salvation by Bro. Ed, and friendship for these results. Uno is excited to know that in inviting one friend, three souls have been changed for eternity. These souls are the eternal rewards to which he will cherish, FOREVER. We are not done praying yet, we still have our prayers focused on Blake, Briana, and Marcos… and of course their families.

Please encourage your children not to give up on those who God has laid upon their hearts, because they really do not know when God will answer them. Every day they are one day closer to the answer! (And that goes for you too!)

My Son's Answered Prayers

      Uno at the Grand Canyon Sept 2014

 

I Don’t Want My Kids To Be a Rock Star

Rock Star

Please excuse me, while I interrupt my normal writing and step on top of this soap box for a few minutes…

I keep noticing shirts, books, music, television shows, highlight the “glamor” of a rock star lifestyle to my children. As a Christian mother, I have to say, I don’t want my kids to be a rock star. Seriously, I thought this rock star phase would be over by now, but scrolling in search of books I spied a toddler level book about teaching your children to be Bible rock stars. Toddlers being rock stars? and Bible rock stars at that!?

Why does this just seem so wrong? Because it is…I understand the phrase is popular, but the idea, to me is just not Bible-centered. The Bible does not have anything to do with being a rock star. There will be no Bible rock stars at my house.

You do not have to accept the world’s philosophy as it seems crammed down your throat in every store in the clothing and toy section. It isn’t enough that they target young and older adults to find acceptance through singing  songs that appeal to the “old” man (Romans 6:6). But little kids!? It is just another way for Satan to begin grooming children for his desires for their future.

Frankly it all boils down to parents in my generation and what they like. Whatever they like they give to their kids. It doesn’t matter whether it is Biblical, it matters whether it’s cool, popular, and most importantly nostalgic.

Children many times do not know any better. They are young and innocent and will accept things without knowing the meaning behind them. Many parents will guffaw at the thought of me writing about this, but honestly, if our children were to leave home and pursue a lifestyle that embraced the world and threw their “Christian upbringing” behind, then they would hit their knees in prayer pleading for their return. Or maybe like many people I’ve seen, they would applaud their efforts for using the talent God had given them in almost every other venue and not for the Lord in their own church.

My Concern

Minimizing the subtle tactics of Satan, may be maximizing your child’s potential for not loving God with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Yes, I realize, we can make mountains out of mole hills and mole hills out of mountains, but what will it take for many of us to stand up and protect our children from society’s pressure of making them the product opposite of God’s plans for their lives?

A toddler will not necessarily understand the board book they are reading says “Baby Rock Star,” but it’s the next step of buying the rock star shirt, doll or Lego set, or the fast paced guitar strumming video game. Are kids viewing these things as acceptable because we allow it little by little? It takes simple choices of seeing the rock star mentality creeping in and eliminating the influences. It may be that you have to redirect your child at the shopping rack, toy department, or video game area or replace things you already have at home that are promoting  things contrary to God’s Word. The Holy Spirit will lead and guide you if you will allow Him to.

Changing Our “Inside” Influence

Most of us do not have to make huge changes in our lives to ensure the safety of our children when it comes to outside influences… but when it comes to the inside influence of ourselves we make exceptions. We need to be reading the Bible and applying its principles of protecting and guiding our children AND ourselves. We are the guardians of our children, the fences of protection and shields of their hearts, minds, and bodies. But how can we protect them to the fullest sense if we are allowing those things into our own lives by the music we listen to, places we go, and things we watch, and items we buy?

But That’s Not All

It really isn’t all about society’s rock star exaltation, there are all types of lures that Satan is using to entice our children. You may not battle Guitar Hero but you may battle the exaltation of sports, fashion, extremely popular children’s movies or books, you fill in the blank. The enticements are not just coming from outside sources though. C’mon, too often they are originating from us, as parents, and our indulgences instead of our holiness.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” I don’t want my kids to be a rock star because I don’t want them to be adult rock stars. Their hearts require my diligence, because out of those little hearts come the issues of life. God forbid that my negligence in allowing something that was even borderline between righteousness and unrighteousness would be where the lure of their downfall began.
Consider the Biblical example of Abraham and Lot. Where did Lot get a taste for Sodom? In Egypt where Abraham took him in one of his flights in fear.

Many people would roll their eyes and say, “It’s all about balance, letting kids be kids and do the things that kids do.” We need to be making the deposit of Biblical influences greater in our children’s lives greater than the weight of the world’s influences. You’re right, it’s about the type of balance. Our child’s balance should contain so much of God that the world’s influences will never outweigh the amount of love they have for the Lord.

The Christian Life is Best because of Christ

I want my kids to know that the Christian life is more exciting than a rock star’s life!

A rock star’s music speaks to the flesh, God’s music speaks to the heart.

A rock star lives a life in front of people lonely for true friendships. A child of God serves people and always has God to walk beside them and good Christian friendships too.

A rock star seeks to please others through their fashion and music. A child of God seeks to please God through their obedience.

A rock star uses money for indulgences. A child of God earns money to take care of their responsibilities and minister to others.

A rock star loves the roar of the crowd at a concert. A child of God can feel content with serving God even when they are alone. They can feel satisfaction from hearing the still small voice of God throughout their lifetime and someday, Lord willing, will hear “Well done, thy good and faithful servant.”

A rock star lives in pursuit of personal gain. A child of God lives in pursuit of God. Period.

A rock star uses his talents to woo people to buy albums so they can get money in their bank to fulfill their heart’s desires. A child of God uses his talents to woo people to Jesus Christ and minister to the hearts of those who are already saved. God then fulfills their heart’s desires.

My Final Thoughts

We are not superior to any type of people who choose to live a rock star lifestyle. But for the grace of God, I could be in that situation doing that very thing. Righteousness is not even obtained through what we do or do not do. It is given to us at salvation in exchange for our sinfulness. Our children do not know the perils that lie ahead of them in this life or the tactics Satan will try to maneuver against them. Please guard your own heart so that you can be wise enough to guard the hearts of your child(ren).

I will get off my soap box now and walk quietly down the sidewalk of life again… until I see another Bible rock star book for toddlers. (wink, wink)