Q&A: Ministry, Pregnancy, and Infants Pt. 1

This article comes from some of the questions and answers that have been submitted on the Ministry Mamas Facebook page on Ask a ? Friday on the topic of: Ministry, Pregnancy, and Infants.

“I am so sick from morning sickness all day long. Sometimes it’s everything I have to make it to church, much less make it to church on time. It consumes my ability to be able to speak with other people because I am miserable. I’m not sure how to minister to others right now. Do you have any advice for me?”

  • I had morning sickness with all four of mine and going to church was always a struggle. I had medicine with my third–and it was wonderful to only be sick 2 hours a day until labor day-but it didn’t work with my fourth at all. However, all that to say–don’t worry about ministering to others during this season. God will show you little ways you can still be a blessing, but don’t stress out about it. And last, you will discover that this season of sickness will open up so many ways for you to empathize and minister to others later on.”
  • “I know what you are going through, I’m there with you, but mine isn’t severe. People understand morning sickness and are sympathetic. Don’t stress about it.”

Q: “How do you handle visitation when it’s just you and your husband with younger children? We live in the country where you have to drive to every house (stroller is not an option). Do you get them out at every stop or is there another solution? We want them to be involved and enjoy ‘family time’ as we call it but it makes each stop so much longer to get them in and out of car seats.”

  • “My husband will go to the door first and knock and see if the person is home, then if they are he will signal to me to get the kids out of the car if they are open to a longer type of visit. This keeps me from getting the kids in and out of the car. If it is a quick visit then we will put on a special kid’s music CD and have them listen to it in the car while we are at the door within eyesight of our vehicle. We save specific CD’s for this situation so that they can still enjoy visitation even if they may not get out for very many of the visits.”

Q: “My pregnancies are really hard on me and honestly it’s hard for me to keep up with all the household work with other children as well as a busy ministry schedule. I am not the pastor’s wife but our family is very involved in our ministries. Is there a way to delegate these things in a right way so that I can focus on the last 6-8 weeks of my pregnancy? I feel like I should be nesting and resting right about now. “

  • “Speak to your husband about this. Since he is the leader of your home I would appeal to his heart about your need for rest and ask him to lighten the schedule of activities that he is in control of. Then, if help is offered, wisely delegate it to people who you know can and will help you in a right way.”
  • “You can only do so much, your growing baby needs you now more than anyone else. You don’t have to be mean or rude about your limitations, just be honest that you cannot do it all. Then, take some time to figure out if this is the time to cut back on some of the things you all may be doing in ministry and at home and come to peace with the reality that what you need to do right now is more important than what you want to do.”

Q: “I play the piano for our church services (Sunday School and the main worship service) and need to nurse my infant right around the same time I am playing for the morning service. What can I do to make sure that both responsibilities are taken care of?”

  • “Nurse your baby toward the middle to end of your Sunday School hour. This will allow you the time you need to be able to play the piano. If that is not possible then arrange your nursing schedule on Sunday’s to be able to be flexible, you may feed earlier or later than normal on other feedings to fit what you need to do.”
  • “Is it possible to pump and have a bottle ready in your diaper bag if your baby needs it? I did this for church services and it worked well if I was not able to get back to the nursery before my baby was starving for another meal.”

 

Ministry Pregnancy and Infants

Ministering to the Mama with a Baby in NICU

Ministering to people with all types of life situations is important, that’s why we want to focus today on ministering to women who have delivered a premature baby that is staying in the neo-natal intensive care unit (NICU).

Families who have a baby that requires hospitalization have very high stress levels in a very critical milestone of their family life. Mothers specifically go through the ringer when the baby they were carrying ends up needing care that keeps her at a distance from her baby because of cords, machines, etc. Be sensitive to the family’s needs and desires. As each family and situation is different allow the family to set limitations or have some personal time if they need it without distraction.

A church family can reach out and purposefully take action to be a blessing. It is not always possible for them or their baby to receive personal visits but it is possible for you to be a blessing! The only way to know their specific needs or desires is to ask – if you can not get in touch with them contact a close family member, neighbor, or friend then do the things you can to minister to them.

Ministering to the Mama with Baby in NICU

Ministering in Prayer – 5 Things to Pray For

  1. Pray for the healing of the mother after childbirth.
  2. Pray for the medical needs of the baby as well as the hospital staff caring for the baby.
  3. Pray for the financial needs of the family.
  4. Pray for the father and other family members.
  5. Pray for the parents’ comfort and sanity during this exhausting time.

Ministering in Friendship – 5 Things to Encourage

  1. Call when it is convenient for the mother and listen to her.
  2. Write an encouraging note and send it in the mail.
  3. Text her with a reassuring Bible verse (Psalms are great for trials).
  4. Visit her and the baby at the hospital if possible.
  5. Take time to love on any other children in the family.

Ministering by Giving – Gifts to Help Mama & Family

  1. Gift Cards – restaurant or grocery store gift cards (because hospital food gets old), gas gift cards (traveling back and forth can be costly).
  2. Magazines and reading material. A book about preemies might be helpful.
  3. A ring sling for kangaroo care (skin-to-skin mother & baby contact) that will easily go over wires.
  4. A gift bag full of healthy snacks and water bottles.
  5. Hire a housekeeping service to clean the house.
  6. Give a spiritual gift that will help lift up their hearts toward God: a verse in a frame, a Christian music CD, sermon CD’s that will reconnect them with what’s happening in church, a devotional for new mothers, etc.
  7. Any essentials that new mothers would want or need: comfortable socks, a robe, cute house slippers, breastfeeding/pumping supplies, a comfortable pillow with a nice pillow case, etc.
  8. Preemie clothes for the baby.
  9. Money for the drink and snack machines.
  10. Notepads and/or other stationery for writing.

Ministering by Giving Your Time

  1. Be a help to the mother: make phone calls or arrangements that would normally absorb her valuable time with her baby, healing, or sleep. For example, if she is looking for connections for a place to stay (possibly Ronald McDonald House or location in the area if they are traveling long distance) or even someone who could get her in contact with someone who could help her get donor breastmilk if she is not able to breastfeed, or any other need that would take time and contacts to be able to complete that would be your job. *Make sure that if you volunteer for a job like this that it is wanted help that is a blessing and not a burden.
  2. Make them a meal, or freezer meals, or bag up some healthy snacks. Drop them off at a time that is convenient for the family either at their home or at the hospital. We knew a family who had a neighbor who would take meals that people scheduled to drop off at their home so they could stay at the hospital as long as they needed to.
  3. Volunteer to help with older siblings. Give them a ride to church, school, or extra-curricular activities, offer to babysit for some one-on-one time to hear and listen to their cares and concerns, take them out to the playground to exert some of that pent-up energy. Older kids need extra lovin’ when their parents have their focus elsewhere.
  4. Offer to run errands for their family or help around their house. Pick up some groceries while you’re at the store, clean their house (most NICU parents went through some type of an emergency and did not have time to clean their home), or even something as simple as dropping off their library books at the library.

With birth on my mind with our little one I certainly wanted to focus on some ministering that we can do for mothers. I pray and hope that this is a blessing and reference tool for you to use in the times when you face situations like this in your ministry.

Many of these ideas can also be a help to a mother on bed rest, or someone who has gone through a miscarriage, or other family crisis that may require time at the hospital. May the Lord help you and give you the grace to be able to be a blessing to the mama with a baby in NICU.

Other website articles that may help you minister to NICU Mamas:

  1. Gift Ideas for NICU Familes at Ain’t No Rollercoaster
  2. A NICU Parent Survival Bag by Preemie Babies 101
  3. Life in the NICU: 5 Tips to Survive as a Preemie Mom – great article to know the feelings of people going through this situation