Category: This and That

Down Home Hospitality ~Guest Post~

 

Down Home Hospitality 2

Hello all! I want to introduce you to Tricia, who is a pastor’s wife in Kansas. She and her husband have been in full-time ministry for only 15 months. Tricia’s new ministry in Kansas has changed her outlook on hospitality and that is why I wanted to share her testimony and hospitality tips with you.

From Tricia:

Hospitality according to the Webster’s Dictionary, is “the generous and friendly treatment of visitors and guests.” According to the Apostle Paul, we, as saints, should be “given to hospitality” (Rom 12:13). In our busy and hectic lives, have we forgotten the Lord’s command to love and serve one another?

I have to be honest, I did not learn hospitality from my mother. Don’t get me wrong, my mother loved to cook and bake. She was generous with her creativity and loved to coordinate parties and get-togethers. But stop by my house unannounced, and my mother would refuse to open the door. Have you been there? The house  in chaos, the kids having toys all over the living room, unfolded laundry on the couch, dishes undone, and there is no way you are opening that door to anyone!?

I actually learned the true meaning of hospitality from my father. Growing up in El Paso, Texas, we lived about 10 miles from the Mexican border. Back then, the border was very “liquid.” People passed back and forth fairly easily, so very often, we would find people passing through our neighborhood on foot looking for work. And very often, I would find people sitting in our front yard under the shade of our mulberry tree. My father served them sandwiches and talked to them in broken Spanish. Most had walked all day, having crossed the Rio Grande early in the morning, with no food. Watching my Dad, I asked him why he would feed them, and he replied, “I have to give them bread to give them THE Bread,” speaking of the Spanish gospel tracts in his pocket.

Yes, we are to show hospitality to ALL. Not just fellow saints, but to sinners, to show them the love of Christ. Isn’t that what Christ did when he fed the 5,000? Granted, He was on a hillside and not in a home, but whereever you are, we are called to be hospitable to all.

Last year, the Lord moved us to a small town in Kansas for my husband to Pastor. I was not used to the small-town etiquette that does not require a phone call before a visit. My first inclination was to not open the door, but then I remembered the generosity of my father and the encouragement of the Apostle Paul who would open the door to all. It took some swallowing of pride and a new perspective, but now I enjoy those “drop-ins.”

6 Tips on Becoming More Hospitable

  • Don’t make hospitality hard. You don’t have to have a formal dinner party for twenty, deck your house out for the holidays so that it looks like Martha Stewart lives there, or keep your house immaculately clean all the time. Relax. Just be open and welcoming!
  • Make an effort to show hospitality regularly. Flex those hospitality muscles! Maybe once a month, invite a family from your church over for a meal. If that is too much, make it dessert and coffee. The more you are hospitable the more you will look forward to those times of fellowship!
  • Put your home in perspective. Are you paranoid about dust bunnies under the couch or dog hair on the carpet? Most visitors won’t even notice because they are there to connect with you, not to judge your housekeeping. If you are self-conscious, make it a habit to keep the room where visitors enter your home as neat as possible. Take ten minutes to declutter daily and it will help you feel more confident when people come by.
  • Be aware of how your children see you deal with visitors. Do they see you warmly welcoming people into your home, or hiding out when the doorbell rings? It will affect their thoughts on loving and serving others.
  • Extend hospitality to your church. Are you welcoming to new families and visitors? Many times, what makes your church stand out will be your show of hospitality. Do you greet people? Do you show an interest in meeting people’s needs?
  • Pray and ask the Lord to grow you in this area. Think of examples of people you know who are examples of hospitality “masters.” How do they make you feel when in their homes? How can you do the same for others?

 Final Thoughts from The Ministry Mama

My favorite quote in Tricia’s tips is, “Flex those hospitality muscles!” If opening your home is hard for you, then start small and work up to bigger things. When you are comfortable with doing something small like actually opening the door when unannounced guests arrive, then take the next step to have people over for dessert, and then a bigger step to the next thing God prompts you to do. Certainly ask God to help you, His help is the biggest key in allowing you to be successful at having down home hospitality!

More about the author:

Tricia and her family have been servants in their churches throughout the years by teaching Sunday School, singing in the choir, and she even taught in a Christian school. Her husband served in the Army for 20 years and she also worked at the VA. Her 5 children are ages 11-21. She is a down home kind of gal who loves gardening, tending her little flock of 20 chickens, painting, and decorating. Tricia’s favorite ministry is ladies ministry where she loves fellowshipping and spending time with her sisters in Christ.

Taking God’s Responsibility

Taking God's Responsibility

I don’t know if it’s being a woman, whether you are in ministry or not, we have tendencies to feel responsible for things that are not our responsibility. When I attend homeschool conferences, a common saying is that “Homeschool moms go to bed at night worrying about whether they are doing enough to help make their kids successful for life.” I feel like that about marriage, ministry, parenting, finances, and friendships, A LOT. I understand the character trait of responsibility is very important, but how many of our burdens come from taking responsibility away from our husbands (as head of the home) or away from God(as the Shepherd of our souls)?

We feel responsible for people when they do not get saved.

We feel responsible for staffing ministries when at times people are not even growing in the Lord and ready for the responsibilities we try to plug them into.

We feel responsible when our children do not get saved at a young age even though we are teaching them regularly about salvation.

We feel responsible when people do not respond the way we think they should.

We feel responsible for making people happy all the time when the reality is, it’s their choice whether they want to be happy or not.

Let’s stop feeling responsible for every little thing in life, because God has bigger plans! Things are going to change, people are going to be and do whatever they want to be. God may not be working things out in your “favor” because He has an alternative plan.

On the morning we were set to leave on our vacation I lost it. You know, one of those, “I can’t handle this,” losing it scenarios. The previous two weeks before our vacation had been jam-packed and honestly, it was just too much for me even with my husband there bearing the load too. We got out on the road two hours later than we planned because we had so many loose ends to tie up before we headed out-of-town. The pressure was bearing down on my soul.

Some of the things that came out of my mouth were:

  • It is my responsibility to make sure that everything goes right on this trip.
  • If I don’t have things ready in the car for the kids to do then it will be my fault if they get bored and are unhappy.
  • If things had been different, then I could have gotten everything taken care of ahead of time.
  • If I don’t get the snacks and lunch ready in the cooler then you (husband) will feel like you have to spend money. It is my responsibility to make sure our spending money lasts.
  • I wish we had not done ______________ so that I could have gotten these things done.

Hours later in the car, after finally feeling a little more free from the burdens I placed on my shoulders, God began convicting me. He reminded me that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh (Luke 6:45). I was trying to take everything out of God’s hands and was making everything personal. It wasn’t just that I had an “I” attitude, but it was bearing the weight of the situation as if everyone’s happiness was dependent upon me and what I did or did not do. We do not have the ability to make people be happy in life. That was not my responsibility. I “know” that but my heart was not remembering at the time because my fear of disappointing people was in the way.

God also prodded me about not putting Him in the equation of our lives first. In those extremely stressful moments, I could not get past my feelings or my thoughts. They were holding me back from the truth of God’s Word that my husband had even taught about in our Sunday School Class the day before. The lesson was titled, How To Deal With Stress. That is sort of ironic, isn’t it? Or does God know our future ahead of time and give us what we need to be able to deal with the circumstances that come along? I failed His test.

Two major things were wrong in those heavily self-burdening moments.

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Farmer loading hay bales onto a trailer.

1. I was not casting my cares upon the Lord. Christ calls us to exchange our burdens for His, because they are light. I Peter 5:7 says, “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” I love how this verse describes giving our cares to the Lord as “casting” them upon Him, it’s like how you see farmers loading heavy hay bales into the back of a large trailer and driving away with the load. We have this promise that He will take these burdens of life and sins by taking care of them for us. Why? Because He cares for us. When we are struggling with stress one of the biggest things we believe is that we are alone and no one cares. We have a promise that God does care, ALWAYS!

2. I did not consider my stress to not trust the Lord as a sin, that had a temptation that I fell for. If you don’t understand, then I will say it like this: In temptation of any sin, God promises in I Corinthians 10:13, that He will always make a way of escape to those who are His children. He provides the way to escape, we just have to look for it and use that escape route. When I committed the sin of worry and distrust toward the Lord, then there was a way of escape from my wrong thoughts and fears somewhere along the way. The escape should have been taken to keep me from a heart filled with worry that burst forth with those things that came out of my mouth the morning of our vacation.

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. I Corinthians 10:13

Conclusion

Take the time when you feel like your eyeballs are going to explode because you cannot possibly handle one more stress or frustration, sit down and start casting every. single. thing. over to the Lord. Then, take the responsibility off of yourself. Things that you cannot handle, like the timing of situations, responses, spiritual matters, etc. should be cast where they belong on the Lord. Talk to God first when you start to notice those things are bothering you, don’t wait until the load is too great. That is why we need to pray without ceasing (I Thessalonians 5:17).

It is a little hilarious that as I was scrolling through Facebook the night this all occurred and saw a saying that said, “Give it to God, and go to sleep.” That’s basically it in a nutshell. Don’t take responsibility for everything, give it to God, and go to sleep.

I pray that next time I will not take on God’s responsibilities, and I will trust better than I did that day. There are times you just never know the things in your heart until they come out of your mouth. So listen for the things in your heart as you speak and ask the Lord to help you recognize the way of escape when you are burdened down and prone to worry. He’s there and He will take that load!

 

Thank You for Being a Sweet Friend

Sweet Friend

 

In Girl Scouts as a child I often sang this song:

Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.

A circle is round it has no end, that’s how long I want to be your friend.

Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.

Today I want to take the time to give a special shout out to those who are my friends, both gold and old friends and new and silver friends. Or did I get that backwards? Don’t older people get silver hair so should it be old and silver friends? (Chuckle) Okay, I think my candy-corny sense of humor has gotten away from me.

To Old Friends:

As the season of thankfulness begins I wanted to say a special thank you to many of my ministry friends for being a sweet friend! I am closing down on the last quarter of my 2nd year of blogging and I will tell you that within these two years I have had the best most encouraging friends that have cheered me on to write about topics that help them but also what is on my heart.

To have encouraging friends is a precious thing to me! I do not take you for granted. I appreciate your kind ideas, tips on how to improve, the conversations that spark my ideas to help others in the struggles that we share in many of the common bonds of ministry. You help this blog be a blessing to others also.

Your spiritual encouragement to me is invaluable! God has worked through many of you through the years and God has allowed your words to spur me on to do the things I would not want to do. Other times they have lifted me up and comforted me in the most loving of ways. It is not always the conversations we have, because many times we are so far apart I cannot see you or talk to you regularly. There is a comfort in knowing you are there for me even when you are not close locally. You are great cheerleaders!

To New Friends:

Many of you out there are my new friends and I want to say thank you for reading, commenting on our Ministry Mamas Facebook page, and even asking me questions. You are the people God allows me to write for. I love ministering to you. Thank you that in the private moments that many of you contact me that you feel comfortable enough to see me as your sister-in-Christ and friend. It is helping you and people like you that gives me the motivation to keep this blog going.

I want to extend my hand of friendship and let you know that if you ever need a person to listen or pray with, that you are welcome to contact me. If you have questions about ministry or life then do not hesitate to ask. I may not know the answer but the Lord has provided me with the ability to contact other ministry ladies that might be able to answer just the question that you have and the ability to read and study His Word and may give me the ability to transfer something He has spoken to my heart about to help you too (because I need a lot of help!!).

I pray for all of my friends that as this season of the year proceeds, that God will give you a spirit of overwhelming gratitude toward Himself this year. There is so much to be thankful for! We have a precious life worth living because of Jesus Christ our Saviour!

Give thanks unto the Lord, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people. I Chronicles 16:8

Thank you Lord for loving and caring friends, both those I have met and those I have yet to meet. They are blessings of your love and a wonderful benefit to being a part of your family.