Category: The Ministry

When Ministry Mamas Don’t Want To Go To Church…

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It’s no joke that there are those church services we Ministry Mamas honestly would like to skip because we’re feeling down or we’re tired of dealing with the latest drama within the church congregation. You are not alone, Mama, others of us know how you feel. These things happen in big and small churches alike.

Some women experience weekly dread hours before they have to be in services on Wednesday night because of having to do the same ministry job every week . If you are in a small church you may be wondering why you go to church if you’re just going to be sitting in the nursery with your little toddler all alone each service. If you’re a mother of a baby you may be wondering why you go because you end up in the nursery every time feeding your baby or rescuing them from their separation anxiety. Or maybe you’re the church secretary and you just want to run away from all the requests and just be able to attend a church service in peace. You could be the one who is dreading that one person who says nerve grating things about your husband and you wish you could give her a piece of your mind but you can’t. Then again, your burden may not have to do with church work at all… It could be a home matter that stings and you wish one time you could have some silent peace around the house while everyone left and went to church without you.

Our thinking patterns and circumstances lead us into these feelings “I don’t want to go to church!” Don’t be tempted to be unfaithful ladies, it’s a real thing to regularly battles before church services. There’s a reason why they come up when they do and why fear and dread are closely associated with your thoughts on matters similar to these. Satan does not want you in God’s house with His people, listening to His Word. Plain and simple.

Today let’s think on the good and lovely things about church that get forgotten when those “I wish I could skip tonight” thoughts come.

Remember God’s Instructions

Hebrews 10:24,25 says, “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”

The word “forsaking” in the Greek (Strong’s #G1459) means, “to leave behind some place,” “desert or leave.” We can come to the place where we wish to leave church behind us because of the heartaches and frustrations, but God does not desire this for us. Church services are when the church assembles to meet together for the common purpose of worshiping God and learning from His Word. Assembling in the verses above means, “a complete collection,” “a gathering.” I want you to think a minute about your closest family members. Imagine if one of your family members (think of your favorite) did not attend family dinners would their presence be missed around the table?  If we are not assembling with our church then the collection of members is incomplete. You really are missed, even if outward pressures would cause you to believe otherwise. Church services are regular spiritual family reunions and our presence is required to make each service “complete.”

Find Fellowship 

Think of a person in your church who is an encourager. Make a point to get to where they are in the next church service and see how they are doing. Fellowship with someone to help fill that heart back up with good things. Remain friendly to other people, not to exclude them, but use one service to speak to someone, preferably a lady, who has that one-on-one God-connection that will encourage you. Or schedule time to get together with someone who inspires you to continue in your spiritual walk with God. Pick someone in your church… I know some of you avoid friendships with church members, but the purpose of the local church and its members is to encourage and lift each other up. You need the people in your church as much as they need you.

Minister Gladly to the Few

Be happy to minister even to a few. I already mentioned maybe you were a Ministry Mama who ended up in the nursery every week. OR you could be the one teaching the same small amount of preschoolers or senior saint ladies every week. Minister your heart out, Honey! No matter who or how many! Don’t become weary in well doing (Galatians 6:9, 2 Thessalonians 3:13).

Don’t skimp out because it’s just a handful of kids. Give them your love (God’s love through you combined with your own personality), share the Bible like you would to a big class. Let God direct your work. God does not work any differently in a big class than He does in a small class (unless of course the teacher doesn’t have a heart for the work). What you are doing in creating a love for God’s Word may spark a love for God that will last their entire lives. I am thinking of tiny churches specifically in the state of Kansas who have produced many wonderful ministry workers across the U.S. and the globe! They didn’t come from big mega-churches, they came from little “po-dunk” towns and small Baptist churches with humble teachers and preachers of God’s Word. You do not know which child in your midst will be a “somebody” for God!

Also, don’t let yourself get distracted by doing too many other things, I know all too well the temptation to clean out a cupboard and create a grocery list while kids are occupied during a church service. Sit down and enjoy who you are ministering to. Get to know who they are and what they like to do in those quiet moments (even if it’s your own child every week). Godly seeds sown today in the place where you are may reap a bountiful harvest you never expected.

Take Time at the Altar

If you’re a regular altar worker or pianist for your church you may be accustomed to helping others with their needs and not taking your own before the Lord during the church invitation. It’s okay to pray for your needs too!

As a freshman in Bible college I would bum rides off of others to get back and forth from the college campus to the church where we attended. I often rode with 3 girls and 1 guy, two of the girls were sisters and the other two were brother and sister. They had known each other for years and had sung together often in their youth group prior to Bible college. On the ride home they would sing a song about the church altar. The song described the purpose of the church altar and invited people to come and bring their burdens to the Lord. I can imagine their voices harmonizing tonight while I write this. The message impressing upon me then was the importance of going to the altar.  That first year there was not a service that went by that God did not compel me to go to the altar for some reason, and I am so glad the time was set aside during every service for me to make my heart and life right with the Lord.

The invitation is not for everyone else except you just because you may hold a special title of “Pastor’s Wife,” “Choir Member,” etc. Take some time to leave your church pew and bow before the Lord and just lay it all out . Don’t feel guilty.  As a friend used to say, “The altar is not for bad people, it’s for every one.” Even ministry wives who dread going to church.

Conclusion

We’re in a battle gals, the spiritual warfare waged against us is often not acknowledged or correlated with the thoughts and anxieties that sometimes come over us regarding those things linked so closely with church attendance. Whatever your reason is, lay it at His feet. I know my blog posts have been longer lately. I want to give you encouragement with meat enough to help you take the steps to be successful at some of these things where you may be struggling. My new favorite repeated quote for you must be said again, “God is there…” Trust Him to help you with this problem too. Break those thinking patterns and find joy in attending church again.

Pastors and Wives Share Your Burdens With Your Staff

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Today’s post is for those who are pastors and pastors’ wives… in my heart of hearts  I pray that this will be taken in the spirit of encouragement.

If you can name it and it has something to do with the church and its’ members then it can be a stress in the life of you and your family.  Any type of stressor can become a burden when you are unsure of how to deal with something…  or you are waiting in prayer for God to give you an answer so you can move on in faith. Church life definitely can come with baggage — that type of baggage that makes you want to stay in bed on church days  or hide in your office as service times begin. It is not uncommon for unwanted circumstances to come at you in waves and for you to feel inadequately prepared to deal with them in wisdom and a right spirit.

If I could have a heart-to-heart with pastors and their wives about church staff and faithful church workers I would say this: “Friends, don’t bear your burdens alone.” And then I would gently say, “Don’t discount your staff as being people who will not understand your burdens.”

Hey, I know I’ve never been a pastor’s wife (yet) and you can come up with an excuse on the reasons why you hoard burdens upon your shoulders, but please allow me to explain…

We have served beside others or communicated with peers and have seen people we loved keep us from comforting them. We could discern that the weight of the daily in’s and out’s of ministry were bogging them down and causing the spark in their eyes to dim to a depressive state of mind. Yet, for some reason when God brought us as comforters to their door with hands empty and ready to carry some of their load, they slammed the door on us. This left two families with burdened hearts (theirs and ours) instead of a common bond of brother/sisterhood and unity from sharing the weight in their hearts.

Allow God to send comforters to you,  who will be a blessing. 

Never assume that the only ministry family that is suffering and bearing the load of life and ministry is the pastor’s family. If you have church staff or you have laymen that are whole-heartedly invested in your ministry then they also carry the burdens of ministry and responsibility of meeting the needs of people on their shoulders. Sin in church members affects them and their hearts too, it can consume their thoughts and prayers also.

Others may never know the degree of weight you carry because the accountability of the pastor is greater, but remember responsibilities weigh on each person’s life. A burden is a burden. They may not know all the details of counseling sessions or the diligence required to do all things decently and in order while ministering as a shepherd (or shepherd’s wife). Do not minimize their heart’s burdens as insignificant in comparison especially when their burdens are linked to the same church family as yours.

The hands of ministry workers, staff, and volunteers are tied when you separate yourself in a class all of your own and elevate yourself to some level of never being understood because of a position. One person or couple should not be bearing all the burden alone. We are meant to bear one another’s burdens because it fulfills the law of Christ. Christ  took all sin of the world upon Himself as He died in our place, He understands the concept of bearing the burdens of others.

Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Church staff in specific situations can often bear a harder burden because of the pressure that is applied from the expectations of the pastor believing they will never understand. They may want to understand, and see how it burdens the pastor. They can recognize how sin puts a blanket on each ministry that is effected by imperfect choices. Do not discount them from being a source of help and encouragement! Most people are capable of genuinely being able to be compassionate in heart toward you. They can understand the behind the scenes knowledge that comes along with being closely involved in the work of the church and respect the need for keeping them in confidence.

“But, what if!?”

Part of bearing one another’s burdens is being humble enough to share. One worry is whether we are sharing our heart’s contents with those who are trustworthy and that is a legitimate concern.  Time can only tell you if you can trust someone. Keeping burdens upon our shoulders because of fearing what other people may say or do (without giving them a chance) is just that, fear. “What if they tell other church members what we’ve talked about?” It is always wise to use discretion in specific matters and to keep information private if it is required.

I feel like I have to make disclaimers all the time because in this world we live in. This message will not fit with every pastor/pastor’s wife and church staff situation out there. There are pastors and their wives who will continue to bear their burdens. There are staff members who will still struggle to feel as if they cannot connect with their pastor/pastor’s wife. Above all, do as the hymn by Charles Tindley  states, “Leave it there, leave it there. Take your burdens to the Lord and leave them there. If you trust and never doubt, He will surely bring you out. Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.”  God is our greatest burden-bearer. No amount of troubles overwhelm Him when we cast those cares upon His shoulders.

Some of you will try to share their burdens with their staff and might be misunderstood or your “fears” may come true when a staff member unwisely shares your information with other people. For those situations I am truly sorry. You might be robbed of a blessing and I would suggest this: Keep praying. Be sensitive enough to share those burdens with someone you are close to so they can help you bear them (ministry friend, family member, etc.). Then, when the time is right and the Holy Spirit gives you a nudge, take a risk again somewhere in the future and share a burden. Share your prayer request, visions for the future of your church/ministries with your staff, and allow them to see the human part of your spirituality that needs God’s guidance.

Taking a risk here and there is part of the growing process. You may just find that your church staff will do exactly what you need and help carry that load and strengthen you in the process. Remember: You found beneficial qualities in their lives or you would not have hired them! The possibility of sharing these matters may allow you to see God work in His mysterious ways to take care of these burdens… we never know what God will do when we join together in prayer for the problems going on in our church. We may actually see victories against sin, repair in relationships, and spiritual growth but the benefit is that they are shared victories and growth instead of just personal.

Eliminate some of your stress by casting your cares upon the Lord and having enough confidence in your staff to be able to share matters that are on your heart. You need it, they need it, and Lord willing, growth will happen in the process. Your work and ministry is valuable, don’t bog yourself down if you can let others walk and work with you.

 

 

To the Ministry Family Waiting for Daily Bread

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waiting-for-daily-breadI’m talking to ministry folks who may be on the poor side of life right now. Those who are hungry and wondering where their next meal or week’s worth of groceries is going to come from.

Paul’s words in Philippians 4:12 express how so many of us feel, “I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” Our journeys through ministry life bring us to those hungry places.

To you who have a bare pantry and nothing but condiments in the refrigerator. Don’t be tempted to rush out and solve this problem yourself! Psalm 37:25 tells us David’s testimony of God’s work for His children.

I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.” Psalm 37:25

Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God

Lack of food can be a worry when you feel responsible and your kids are asking for something to eat. The Bible teaches us all Christians should make God and His Kingdom our first priority. Relying on God for food requires the rubber meeting the road and helps us practice what we preach/teach by living in faith.

Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? …for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.  Matthew 6: 31-33

You fill in the blank for what seeking the kingdom of God is for you. You know your own personal need for Bible reading, the ministries you have (including your family), and the opportunities God places for you to be a witness for Him. If all of your monetary resources are dry stop panicking and stay busy doing God’s work. Be satisfied with that obedience and, as stated many times throughout this article, wait on Him to take care of you.

Ask and ye shall receive

Luke 11 gives us a great explanation from Christ about how God gives to His children,

 “And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.  For every one that asketh receiveth; … If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?  Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” Luke 11:9-13

Simply ask, “God, you know we don’t have food for the week, will you please give us the next meal?” Then, wait in faith.

Give and it shall be given unto you.

My single mother worked hard cleaning houses and had just enough money for us to make it. Once I watched her go into our pantry and fill a box with food leaving our shelves nearly bare. She gave the food to our next door neighbor,  she was mean and hateful to her kids and had rejected my mother’s friendship with her.  Mom, in the middle of the night, left that box of food on her porch. Mom had the kind of faith that God would provide for us because we were His children. She taught me these verses: “ Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” Luke 6:38. God always rewarded her generosity and we never were hungry.

God happily blesses those who give, especially those who give in His name, to His people in their time of need. Allow your heart to stay soft toward others. Even in your “poverty” it is good to be in the practice of giving.

A Side Note: One danger in ministry is we may have knowledge at times about who the givers and non-givers are in our church because we are involved in the church finances. Guard your heart against becoming bitter at other families that may not be giving and are faring better than you while you may be struggling to feed your family. God takes care of His servants, so keep your eyes on Him!

Expect only God’s daily provision.

In the account of Elisha’s life in 1 Kings God directs him to the brook of Cherith. He provides him daily meat from the ravens. Then, as the brook dries up He directs him to lodge with the widow and her son. Miraculously her empty containers fill daily with meal and oil with just enough for them to eat that day.

In the account of Israelites’ journey in the wilderness God provided manna for them to eat daily for 40 years!  There’s no question God can accommodate you, it’s a matter of when. In the Lord’s prayer it says, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Daily bread, is what we are to pray for, nothing more, nothing less.

Fred and Christine, a couple we know, spoke about how when they were young Christians living in a tiny apartment on a tiny income. They met friends who lived downstairs and regularly both couples would be down to simple items in their pantry. Together they found out they could combine their resources and have a meal, one would bring a loaf of bread, another would supply tomatoes or meat and they would eat simple sandwiches and feast on fellowship. A little humility (admitting to a friend you only have a little) and a bit of creativity may create something delicious.

Don’t beg or broadcast, just wait in prayer.

Reading George Muller’s biography is a help to anyone needing encouragement in trusting God’s provision. He saw prayers answered for daily bread for the orphanage he owned in Germany. The food for the children would run out and each time they would pray specifically for that meal, God would uniquely give to them. When times were tough he would not beg or broadcast to anyone, he would pray. The best way to ask for what you need (like mentioned above) is to do it in your prayer time. Devote time you would ask others to pray for you into asking God instead.

Earlier I mentioned speaking with a friend about your situation in humility. Remember, that is not the same as purposefully dropping hints to other people expecting that they will hand you some cash or invite you over for dinner.  Worry often catapults us into asking others to take care of our needs instead of expecting God will. Always use your manners and courtesy, because ministry people do not need to be known as mooches. Prayer is most effective in these situations! When God answers your prayers, you cannot doubt His love.

Be wise with your money.

If you have ever gotten into the money pickle that leaves you with only pickles in your refrigerator then think about your money decisions that lead you to the money pickle… Making wise money choices can still leave you with no money at the end of the month to buy the last week’s worth of groceries, but being an unwise steward can also leave you with empty pockets to pay bills and buy food.

If you struggle in wisely managing your money:

  • Ask God for help!
  • Learn Biblical principles of money stewardship, do a Bible study or take a class.
  • Don’t stop tithing or giving in your local church.
  • Budget your funds.
  • Limit your splurges and stop spending needlessly.
  • Use what you already have.
  • Run from the temptation to use credit!

We err, as Americans, often in temperance (self-control) in this area of our lives and sometimes we suffer for our extravagance and make ourselves suffer needlessly. Dedicate some of your time to helping yourself become a wise steward.

In Conclusion

I cannot promise how God will feed you. If and when He does, praise Him and thank Him! Share your story of provision with others. AND I would love to hear your story, send me an e-mail and tell me what God has done!

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