Mr. Grief the Teacher

This is something I wrote a few weeks ago and am just now publishing. It tells about my grief set aside because of a busy ministry schedule. I hope that when Mr. Grief the teacher comes to teach you that you will contemplate the meaning of your life, whether it truly has meaning or not. Whether you are spinning your wheels in the busy and “good” things instead of the right and godly things. We live and learn and as Mr. Grief teaches, God teaches…

My cousin passed away this week. Although we were not really close I still have felt grief and heaviness in my heart and my thoughts have been clogged with thoughts of life and death. I do not understand God’s ways, why He allows some people to expect their death and prepare for it, and for other people they are just taken within moments or days and then they are gone into eternity.

Some people say that death, no matter when it happens, you can never really be ready for someone to go. I thought maybe they were right until I watched my great-grandmother deal with a dementia and slowly go downhill over 7 years. She was begging God to take her long before she died and when she did go there was peace. Peace knowing she was no longer suffering and that she was with the Saviour. We were ready for her to go because of the sadness there was within each day as she struggled to think and even know who or where she was.

My cousin went unexpectedly when thrown from his vehicle because he was not wearing a seat belt and was driving too fast. His truck rolled and he was ejected out of the passenger’s side window. Being rushed to the hospital he was expected to live until his heart stopped and he was unable to be resuscitated.

Our ministry schedule was so busy with upcoming events that I had responsibilities in that I was not able to attend the funeral. I have felt sad about that all week. I have also felt like I have not been able to be sad because I just have to keep going to get the responsibilities at church and at home done so we can function as a family. None of the other staff families seemed to know about it and I just don’t know how to bring it up. I realize this is a minor grief because he was not immediate family, but my heart still hurts for his family and for his infant son.

My mom said something in the voice mail when she told me about his passing (because I was in church services) that she was glad that my sisters and I were still here because “love lost, hurts.” That quote has swirled around in my brain like water escaping down the drain.

My sister was mad because he had made many dumb decisions in his past and felt as if he had wasted his life and that got me to thinking about life and wasting it. I don’t want to waste my life.

I am so thankful God has called us to serve and work in His ministry because a life lived for Him in the right spirit and attitude can never be a waste.

“Redeem the time because the days are evil,” and our life is a “vapor.” I heard a story about a lady that had a bee trapped in their minivan so she parked her van in the driveway, which was at an incline, so she could get it out. The van ended up rolling over her and killing her that day. God reminds me of the brevity of life and how important it is to know the Saviour and serve Him each and every day in my family and to those around me.

I write notes and letters to my family before I leave on a long trip in the car. If something were to happen then I want them to always know that I love them. That my heart was toward them and with them even until the last day that I lived and breathed here on this earth, and that they need to love and trust our God and Saviour because He loves them. Never do I want them to doubt my love. I’m not a perfect wife or mother but I love my family.

The why’s of life are tricky. We have a superior God in heaven that weaves the tapestry of each person’s life according to His plan. I don’t understand some days, but I must trust His heart.

Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Promoting Allergy Compassion – Our Testimony

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May is Asthma Awareness Month and I want to take the opportunity to share with you our testimony about how our family deals with food allergies and asthma. I hope to help educate church workers so that they understand the importance of knowing how to help the families they are ministering to. We, as a family, would like to promote allergy compassion because as you can tell, we as a family, all have allergy problems.

I’m calling it compassion because it is more than awareness that is needed. We can be aware of something and not have a heart for it. Genuine compassion is linked to the heart and does what it can to meet the needs of people where they are.

AsthmaMeet my oldest son, Uno, he is 7 years old and has asthma, severe peanut, nut, and milk allergies. He is a special boy, as most first children are, he is who made my husband and I parents. We have a family history of allergies on both sides of our family. My husband and his family have the asthma. I have the milk allergy that manifests itself in eczema that breaks out in various places on my body. I also have idiopathic angioedema, which is allergy outbreaks of an unknown cause that can happen any time without warning.

As you can probably tell our son is wearing an oxygen tube across his nose, this picture was taken over a month ago. He had RSV when he was around 4 months old and was hospitalized and since that point he has struggled with asthma. It took many years to finally get his allergies figured out and his asthma in control.

Uno, at 7 years old, is very aware of when he is left out because someone has brought a treat that has milk in it. He is human and gets disappointed when he cannot take part in what the other kids are doing. Sometimes it means he has to sit out while others are playing a game because we notice he has begun to wheeze.

We first figured out about Uno’s milk allergy at church. When he began going to the 2-year-old class he began eating new snacks. When we came home we began noticing he was sick, sometimes spiking a 104 temperature, struggling to breathe, etc. It would take several days for him to recover, sometimes a trip to the ER, then we would return back to church on Wednesday night and the cycle would start all over again to where we would be better by Sunday and he would be down for the count again. The culprit: the new snacks, goldfish crackers! The nursery coordinator quickly labeled the box of goldfish with a tag that said “Do Not Give to Uno.” We stopped having complications on a regular basis.

Aug 2006

While visiting my mother and grandmother in my hometown we learned Uno had an allergy to peanuts. I had a sneaking suspicion but it finally came to light on that trip. My grandmother’s aunt, in her late 70’s, took Uno up in her arms, he was probably 18 months old, and fed him some toast with peanut butter on it. I had been aware of his skin turning red when he was given peanut butter, and was noticing that the edges of his mouth were beginning to turn pink where the peanut butter had touched him. We were trying to tell her not to give him any more when she told us that he was fine. He was not fine. It was from that moment on that I refused to give him peanut butter at all. I always imagined that if peanut butter was making his skin red, what was it doing to him on the inside? His allergy was confirmed with a skin test, where immediately when pricked the area turned as large as a quarter.

Our son depends on other people at times to help him be safe from those things that would cause him harm. It hurts our hearts when people disregard his safety because it could potentially mean life or death for him. Uno when exposed to milk gets an irritation in his throat, and from that he begins to cough, and that is when his cough-induced asthma kicks in, and at times can overtake him in a matter of minutes. He can go from being fine to having pneumonia and needing around the clock treatments within a few hours. It is imperative for others to understand this about him and take precautionary measures to help and protect him. When it comes to nuts we do not know the outcome to his being exposed, neither do we want to find out! That is when allergy compassion makes a difference.

We would never tell a child to cross a four lane highway at rush hour, but we will sometimes expose allergic children to their food allergies. When we become aware and we are educated about these things then we become responsible, and when we become responsible, we become accountable. I urge all people, whether you have allergies in your family or not, put forth the extra effort to understand them.

We have noticed that some people could really care less about Uno’s allergies because they do not have allergies or have them in their family. Often times it feels like if it does not affect them then it does not mean anything to them. If it was their allergy or their family member with the allergy then I imagine that it would become a more prominent focus in their lives. They would have understanding and compassion toward others that struggle… or at least we hope they would.

We have found others with a heart full of compassion toward him and a willingness to learn about which foods contain milk and the importance not to have peanut butter around Uno at all. When a mom approaches me and asks me what type of snack Uno can have in their Sunday School class, then it blesses my heart and gives me confidence that that mother would take care of my child responsibly. Other people have been kind to ask us ahead of time what we can and cannot have so that when we go over to their home for a meal they have planned a meal for him or allowed me the opportunity to be able to bring something that he can eat safely.

Uno would change having asthma if he could and he would try peanut butter and sunflower seeds if he could, but God has allowed his allergies for a reason. We don’t understand why, many times we don’t like it, but it is our life. His food allergies have become who we are and what we eat. We are the people who do not eat pizza, or lunch meat, or most processed foods or bread. We stay inside during the windy days of Spring and Fall, and have him cover his mouth when he is out in cold air because these things effect his asthma. Our lives are different because of the allergies but we are better because of it.

We share these stories and thoughts for not only Uno’s sake but for other people. Maybe we would not have a heart or understanding for people who have physical problems and diseases if we did not face them regularly. This is not a pity party on our part, it is the origin of our education on this topic. I hope in the future we will be able to help you incorporate and maintain allergy awareness in a number of practical ways by teaching you to be more compassionate and aware of how to run a ministry that can minister to those with allergies.

Expecting Grace – A Special Book Review

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Expecting Grace is a great new book written by Leah A. Highfill. She is a strong woman with an encouraging ability to write about the Lord’s work in her life. She has a special blog called, Embracing Grace, where she, a pastor’s wife encourages other ladies in their walk with the Lord.

In recent months I have begun to read her blog and be encouraged with her posts myself, that is why I am pleased to present to you today a wonderful review of her book. I have also included this review on my sister site, Ministry Mamas. See the same review here. We have 2 books on our Book Review list but are looking forward to adding more.

In reading my Bible reading today I found these verses, “My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever…But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works.” Psalm 73:26 & 28. These verses describe Leah Highfill’s experience with a unique condition that affects 1-2% of women, Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Basically, it is a condition where the woman’s body rejects the Human Growth Hormone and she suffers from a difficult and uncomfortable battle with nausea and weakness throughout the pregnancy. She survived and declares God’s work in her life in this God-honoring testimonial.

Leah shares hear heart as she dealt with this disease throughout her first pregnancy with her son Caleb. She and her husband were newlyweds that had just made a commitment to serve the Lord in a church in Canada when she became pregnant and the long 9 month trial began.

Her journaling through these months helped her in writing her book. I felt impressed to keep better track of God’s involvement and blessings in our family’s life because of her testimony of keeping track of the blessings and provisions God made for them because she was faithful to write what He had done.

This book will teach you the value of prayer. When their prescription costs were more than the weekly salary they were making. God proved himself faithful one blessing at a time. They took the time to take the large stack of bills that were mounting around $35,000 and pray over each one of them. As you read the book you see how God works in mysterious ways and lifts their burden.

She is a Christian woman who struggled in a dark valley and came out of it with a wonderful attitude to see needs around her and help other women with Hypermesis Gravidarum. We all have difficulties and should come out of them with a heart to help others come through similar struggles. This book can help you see the needs of pregnant women. Not only do some suffer and struggle with illness, their family does also. How easy it is to forget those expecting and assume they are fine when their body and health may be struggling.

This book kept reminding me to look for the needs of:
1. Pregnant women
2. Women who are having an extremely hard time with pregnancy.
3. Women who are far from their families and need extra support.
4. People going through financial struggles.
5. Men who are supporting wives going through difficulty.
6. Women on the mission field with burdens and struggles.

If a book can increase your sensitivity and prick your heart to see the needs of others from God’s eyes, then it’s worth reading! I hope you will take the time to be blessed.

You can purchase her book on Amazon.com. I was not compensated for reading and reviewing her book but I am so grateful I did.