Category: The Ministry

Good Expectations For Fellow Staff Members in Ministry

Good Expectations for Fellow Staff Members in MinistryThis post is addressed to staff members, not necessarily the pastor and his wife, but people who serve alongside a pastor with other staff families to help you know how to have good expectations with those you work with.

There is always transition of getting to know the people already working at the church or those that come into a position after you do. It takes time to know who they are and their personalities. Many people are disappointed with the personalities of their peers immediately while other people have a honeymoon of loving who they work with UNTIL (key scary dramatic music here) personality conflicts arise.

Being on church staff is no light matter.  Learning to have the right expectations of your fellow staff members will help you be able to manage relationships and seek peace. Without peace there is confusion and every evil work (James 3:16) and the church where you serve could be marred because of pride and feuding.

Have no expectations. Walk into every ministry position with no expectations of those around you. Don’t expect to be best friends with people or have them even be your mentor or best friend. This may seem to lack feeling but honestly, if we look at our disappointments in past problems with people it is usually because we thought someone else should be something they were not.

Each person and relationship you have with people on staff will help you grow in some way. Allow yourself some time to be able to see how it will play out.

If you walk away from your time of working together on staff with a beautiful friendship then praise the Lord. If however you walk away from your time with feeling differently, then embrace it as a learning experience.

Expect differences. Not every family is the same so allow that although you may work at the same church, be involved in many of the same ministries and work of the church, that you may have different ideas about ministry, family, and how to carry out those things.

We get this idea that everyone MUST be the same as us, and that is not true. God creates each person to fulfill their work in the body of Christ in his or her own way according to His purpose with the talents and abilities He has given them. If you see gaps of character remember He’s still working on all of us! Each person will have some thing(s) in their life that you will probably not like 100% and the situation and guess what, that is how they feel about us.

Allow the other people on staff to have the freedom to be who they are and do things in their own way.

It’s okay for them to be different, and if their differences bother you or offend, then you have two choices: A. Pray about it. B. Go to them in the right spirit and attitude and approach them Biblically. Discuss the offense and move on.

Older people will have their reasons why they do things because they have experience. Young people may have vision but they are gaining experience. Step back and accept their differences as a part of God’s plan for your life. Pushing your preferences and philosophies on people in an uncaring way will usually result in others closing the door on your influence. Gentleness in dealing with differences usually influences greater than harshness.

Expect them to voice their opinion. Listen to them and give their thoughts consideration. If another staff member shares their heart with you, please listen to them carefully. Use the two ears and one mouth rule, listen before you speak and dole out your advice. They just might need a listening ear and nothing else.

Others will forcefully give opinions, whether you like it or not. If they give you constructive criticism, thank them, and allow some time to think about what they have said and ask the Lord to help you know how you should use their words in a good way. God can use their perspective to help you in your ministries. If the advice is not godly or helpful, then keep on keeping on.

Please understand that I’m not addressing the issue of another person on staff having different doctrinal differences than you or your pastor. At times there are things that will breech relationships in context to the Word of God, but we should always be Christian ladies and gentlemen in how we also deal with these issues. If you are concerned about doctrinal differences that another staff member may have then it would be wise to consult your pastor about these concerns.

Expect to learn from them. Each person in ministry that has truly been called to do God’s work has value to God and His work. The other people on your church staff may not do things like you would, but they still have things they are doing right for the Lord.

Evaluate their work, to yourself, and make notes on what you like about what they are doing with the youth group, music program, ladies meetings,  etc. Put it in a file for later use. Ask them questions about how they accomplish what you like about their ministry.

Use your time together to benefit any ministry God could potentially call you to.

Expect to ask for forgiveness along the way. We are all guilty of pulling some crazy sinful stunts! If you have done something to hurt or offend your fellow staff member (or his wife, child, etc.) then it is your responsibility to make it right. It’s hard to humble yourself, but it will be worth it to keep the peace.

Problems can compound and you might not be liked by those around you if you are a frequent offender that does not admit the wrongs that you have committed toward others and try not to do them again. Repeat offenders can quickly make a small situation build up to be the elephant in the room that people do not know how to deal with.

Do you really want to make people feel awkward because you’ve caused a problem and you just won’t admit you’ve done something wrong and ask for forgiveness? I really hope not. If you don’t give a care, then I think there are some issues that need to be taken care of in your heart and with those you’re working with.

Final Thoughts

One of the biggest lessons you may learn from good relationships with fellow staff members is how to love people and minister to them in a different way than you would have without their perspective. One of the biggest lessons you may learn from bad relationships with fellow staff members is how NOT to treat people as you minister.

You may see the good, the bad, and the ugly from those you work with… but guess what, they see the good, bad, and ugly of you and your family too. Ministry is a unique situation because we expect that because we are Christians we will treat each other in the most logical and spiritual way possible 100% of the time. We must simply expect what God does out of people. God  knows we will be sinners and will sin even after our salvation and maturity occurs. Do not be so surprised when problems come. And never, ever, ever, allow minor things to prevent you from staying in the ministry God has called you to.

You may not choose who you serve beside but you get to choose how you will make the moments of your service together be. I dare you to choose right expectations and find the good in the people God has placed you with on this journey of your life!

 

 

John the Baptist: Discouraged and Doubting Pt. 2

John the Baptist was going through personal difficulties after his active ministry was put to an abrupt stop when he confronted Herod about his infidelity. Herod in turn arrested John. There is no proof of what type of imprisonment he suffered, whether it was house arrest or in a dungeon, but we do know that he was isolated in a place where he could not longer view the works of Christ.

While John the Baptist was isolated, his disciples came to visit, and they were not able to do anything to be able to help his discouragement and doubt. He asked two of his disciples to go on a mission to ask Christ a specific question: “Art thou he that should come, or do we look for another?”

In the last article we discussed Part 1 of Christ’s response to John the Baptist’s heavy question, which included them taking the good news of the works of He was doing outside John’s imprisonment. These answers can be found in Matthew 11.

The second part, includes a blessing with a condition.

John’s disciples also were dispatched to tell him, “And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.“

Offended according to the Strong’s Concordance comes from the Greek word skandalizo.

Offended means:

  • to entrap
  • to trip up, or entice to sin
  • apostasy or displeasure
  • offend
  • The thought comes with it, “to cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and obey.*“

Jesus encouraged John not to distrust or desert Him.

Please do not allow yourself to be offended by how God is working outside of your situation. It is not about whether He loves you or not, because He does, it is about your choice not to become offended. Our difficulties in ministry and this life will come (Matthew 18:7), but Christ’s desire is that you do not become offended by them. Nothing should stand in our way to make us distrust or desert our Saviour.

Many of us are familiar with Paul’s writings and about the deserter, Demas, although it does not specifically say that he was offended in Christ, he left God’s work to follow after worldly desires. (Read about Demas in Colossians 4:14, Philemon 1:24, and 2 Timothy 4:10.) Our offenses, if not properly managed with Biblical answers, will lead us away from our ministry and calling to find earthly comfort apart from God’s will for our lives. Guard your heart to keep your heart from wandering.

Another Biblical example is in the story of the sower and the seed. One of the portions of ground was sown and this is said about it in Mark 4:16,17 “And these are they likewise which are sown on stony ground; who, when they have heard the word, immediately receive it with gladness;  And have no root in themselves, and so endure but for a time: afterward, when affliction or persecution ariseth for the word’s sake, immediately they are offended.”

We do not want to have shallow roots enduring only until the persecutions and trials come into our lives, deserting God. Even though some pruning may happen in our lives we should strive to be the person whose heart is good fruitful ground.

THINK ABOUT THIS: Your present discouragement or doubt can be only as temporary as you will let it be. There is  joy when you are able to rejoice with those who rejoice. There is maturity when you can look beyond the bars of your jail cell and understand that hope really does exist beyond this situation and this life because we are blessed if we do not become offended. God allows us to choose fruitfulness.

John the Baptist’s end was going to be an unexpected death at the hands of wicked women, calling for him to be beheaded and his head to be brought before Herodias and her daughter. The Bible does not say what John the Baptist’s emotional status was before the beheading. I hope that as he received Christ’s personal message to him from his disciples, that he rallied with hope for eternity and for the souls of the people in the world who would believe and repent on Jesus.  I hope he made the choice not to become offended and chose the blessings of God.

Choosing not to be offended is not easy. It means it will take forgiveness. It means you will have to choose to be a blessing even when you may not feel like it. It means you may have to go the extra mile or strive to the peacemaker. It means you have the freedom to choose to love God, like Job, no matter what. It means you may have to overcome fears or walk away from hopeful expectations. It means that doors may be shut as you wait for the next one to open. It means you must be a living sacrifice, laying down yourself so you can receive God’s blessings.

Our God loves us more than we can imagine, but yet so often we forsake him like the disciples did that day of His crucifixion. We do not have to add to our own sorrow by adding offense to our situation. When you do not understand or you can see clearly the reason for your discouragement and doubt, love the Lord and desire to seek His face and know His presence. You will be all the better for it because God is fashioning you into the image of His Son.

Be confident in God’s workings in your life even if you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel because, if you’re still here then God’s still performing His work in you.

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: Philippians 1:6

 

*Olive Tree Bible Software KJV Strong’s

 

 

John the Baptist: Discouraged and Doubting Pt. 1

John the Baptist sat in his prison. He was held captive as a result of his rebuke toward Herod for his inappropriate relationship with his brother’s wife. In boldness he pronounced the open sin was wrong before a righteous God, and in boldness Herod had him arrested, exacting vengeance for his rebuke.

Matthew 11:11 And it came to pass, when Jesus had made an end of commanding his twelve disciples, he departed thence to teach and to preach in their cities. Now when John had heard in the prison the works of Christ, he sent two of his disciples, And said unto him, Art thou he that should come, or do we look for another?

The longer he sat there lonely, where he could not see the works of the Saviour, the more he became discouraged. He began to simply ask himself whether Jesus was who He said he was, or not. John’s disciples noticed that his countenance was not as vivid as before. The light in his eyes was faded and the fire of his great voice was extinguished. The man that declared with great vigor and excitement that Jesus was the Son of God that would take away the sins of the entire world, was now questioning His reality. The man whose ears heard the voice of God say, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased,” no longer remembered the stamp of approval on that day.

John the Baptist was born different than any other person in the Bible because before he was born, he was chosen to be forerunner of Christ (Matt. 11:11). Even Jesus mentions the importance of John the Baptist’s work later on in Matthew 11 saying, “Verily I say unto you, Among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist…” His mother, Elisabeth was cousins with Christ’s mother Mary.

John had a definite God-ordained ministry, so why was he discouraged and doubting?

In my opinion, it was because he was taken out of the ministry he was actively involved in and isolated. Even as important as he was to the work of the Lord at that time in history, he was frail when alone.

Jesus understood that John, just like the rest of us, needed some reaffirmation and reassurance.

Matthew 11:4 Jesus answered and said unto them, Go and shew John again those things which ye do hear and see: The blind receive their sight, and the lame walk, and the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the poor have the gospel preached to them. And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.

John’s disciples had a simple task:

  • to declare the works of Jesus back to him.

I want to challenge you, if you are in an isolated place like John, to look for the miracles going on outside your situation.

Sometimes when we are struggling we do not like to hear about the successes of other Christians and how God is working in their lives because it makes us think of the loss that we have suffered. According to Jesus’ advice, it is vital that you look out beyond your circumstances and see the Lord’s work elsewhere. He is still performing miracles, meeting needs, and people are still reaching and preaching to the lost souls of the world. He wants you to see and hear about the good news from a far country (or what seems to be) and be lifted up.

As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country. Proverbs 25:25

I love the verse that says, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep,” in Romans 12:15. This verse explains to us that it’s okay to be happy for others in their moments of rejoicing and it’s okay for us to have grief and allow others to grieve with us when we are in our low moments. I believe that you can both rejoice and grieve in the at the same time. In a situation of discouragement and doubt where you may be tempted to only look at your problems, the best way to get out of those problems is to look at God and His works.

So what types of God’s works should you be looking for when you are discouraged and doubting God?
  1. “The blind receive their sight.” Look for things that are obvious as you look around your world at God’s creation and His people. Rejoice in God’s handiwork!
  2. “The lame walk.” Think about how God has worked in the lives of a repentant prodigal son or daughter. Is there someone that was once “lame” in their life and now they are walking on the narrow path of God’s ways? Rejoice in God’s unfailing love!
  3. “The lepers are cleansed.” Lepers were given a death sentence because of their disease, sinners are given a death sentence for their sin. Can you think of someone that recently got saved? Rejoice in their belief in Christ’s work on the cross!
  4. “The deaf hear.” Listen for things that God is doing in the life of His church, in the families around you, and in the world. God is speaking, can you hear? Rejoice in the instruments God uses to speak to your heart!
  5. “The dead are raised up.” This should give you certain hope if you’ve been discouraged yourself. Can you think of someone that also struggles with discouragement and doubt? How did God raise their spirit up so that they had life again? If you don’t know… ask them! Rejoice in God’s love for life!
  6. “The poor have the gospel preached to them.” There was something different about Jesus because He reached out to everyone no matter their social status. It must have been something unique for the poor people to be being preached to, that is why Jesus mentioned with a list of miracles. Jesus really did come to seek and save all men. Can you think of a missionary who preaches the gospel to his country’s poor? Can you think of a person in your church or ministry that reaches unlovely people like Bartimaeus? Rejoice in God’s efforts through common man!

Miracles are all about us, I challenge you to write those miracles down in a journal for you to look at when you are like John and you are discouraged and doubting. Part 2 covers the part of Jesus’ words to John that said, “And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.”