Author: theministrymama

Underneath a Load of Care

Sometimes we get overworked and we hear about one more problem and we shrink beneath our load of care. I hope you will read this poem that I wrote and find hope and strength to walk to the Saviour and have Him lift your burdens.

Underneath A Load of Care

Underneath a load of care, one more ounce I cannot bear.

The issues of each day abound and their duties and weight compound.

Sinking low into life’s sands, I feel the brush of someone’s hand.

My tired body is lifted up and an invitation Christ bids, with Him to sup.

While at His table He gives me food and reminds me of all that He’s done that’s good.

He spoke gently of the load He bore and instructed me not to be burdened anymore.

I left my load behind today; His light yoke I will bring along the way.

This victory in Him to live, ask for it and He will give!

Jesus in heaven is waiting for you to give your load to Him too.

Matthew 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

© The Ministry Mama 2010

Confession #1 – The House Guest Shuffle

Some days as I breathe a heaviness overcomes me as it sits in my chest and motivates me to growl at the children to pick up the floor and I scrub sinks to sparkle and pick up even miniscule specs of thread and crumbs in the corners of the rooms because someone is coming over to see my house. My house represents who I am, it is my workplace. When someone says “I’ll be right over,” the panic sets in and the dreaded heaviness comes out of its hiding place and drives me again to do the “House Guest Shuffle.” It is the root of my insanity, the fear of failure, the whisper inside my head that I will be rejected if my home is not perfect… perfectionism.

Yes, it’s like a disease, but more accurately a sin that I am prone to committing inside and outside of myself. It is the worst of sins because I choose to heighten the stress level of our family by demands and barking of orders to this child and that. If someone were to see my imperfection then I would be ruined, my testimony, the thoughts they walk out of my door thinking about the piles of junk I have sitting on a table in the living room, on my kitchen island, and on top of my dresser (if they’re lucky to even get that far into the house). It is the inhospitable way that I keep cleaning when people have finally arrived and come to visit. I pick things up and wipe off the counter, “one more mess that might cause me to be rejected, gone, right in front of their face.” It is the thought that one day my children may hate having visitors come over because of my choices.

Frankly, perfectionism is ridiculous! It is a sub-standard too-high standard that I keep. It means that I am, well, sigh, NOT perfect! There, I said it… ugh! It is like the mother-in-law that has moved in and makes you miserable. It has at times made my husband a slave and robbed my children of afternoons of play time because they were also slaves to my constant cleaning, arranging, dusting, and vacuuming.

My perfectionism and a fear of rejection go hand in hand and I wish that I could say that this is a new development in my life but that would be a lie. It is something that has lived with me for a long time. And in reality, perfectionism’s other hand is holding to my pride. I hate to be less. I hate to fail. I hate to be sick and unhealthy. It all means that I am not doing something right…but that is a lie. It means that I am human and subject to God and His plan for my home being a place for visitors.

While in my head I know that perfectionism is wrong, I go right back to it. The habit of living that way for so long, some would call their “besetting sin,” relives itself over and over. I know the root of it to some degree living with a single mother in a little trailer that needed a lot of help. I would tell my friends, “Oh, don’t come to the door, I’ll be waiting for you.” It was much safer to my reputation if people saw the cool me come out to their car (because the cool me did not have a car or a license until college, ha ha) instead of coming up to the porch and seeing inside. I was always waiting and ready for their car to pull up in the driveway. Now that we rent a nice home, it is hard for me to not feel those same feelings when people want to come over. I did not realize that my thoughts back then of assuming people would only like me if I did certain things, wore certain clothes, and lived in a certain type of house were breeding this wrong thinking of perfectionism.

It is easy to say in your head that people understand about the mess and they know you have children, but do they really? My automatic thinking is “yeah right,” and I continue on in my flurry of cleanliness. Is our family clean all the time? Now, that’s a yeah right! We live comfortably and messy through our week but as soon as my ears catch wind of a visitor’s arrival then the scamper begins again. “Hurry kids, hide it all in the closet or underneath the cabinet!” Oh, you’ve done it too, if you’re honest!

There is a fine line between holding yourself up to a too-high standard and becoming enslaved to the lie of perfectionism. Perfectionism tends to be self-centered. It is a cloak for wanting to preserve yourself from being embarrassed or from losing face to those you wish to impress (everyone!). A good question I have to ask myself is “Why are you so stressed out about this?” When my answer is because I don’t want people to think ______________ about ME (key word), then that is a dead ringer for the root of the problem. Pride.

The cure for perfectionism for me has been confession. I confess it to God as sin and pride because I have no other way of dealing with it without going back to the kitchen and wiping off the table. God is the only perfect being, I can never live up to an expectation of myself that God does not even expect of me. I know that God is holy and I cannot live up to His standard because of my sinfulness. It is a perfect example of why that I need Christ’s payment for my sins. He was the only sinless person and the only acceptable sacrifice, because of His perfection. That is why my personal salvation is so valuable.

Last year I read a book and one chapter told the story of a lady that always was cleaning her house, like me, when people were coming over. She finally came to the conclusion that God had a purpose for each person that came for a visit . She also noted that her messes were used as a way to give the nervous visitor a task to do and she would find them picking up her floor, wiping her cabinet, or doing her dishes without even saying a word to them about it. In the few times I have tried it, it works! Typically people are very helpful and will love you no matter what your house looks like.

I have to take deep breaths and pray when people come over for a party or get-together. I have a real hard time letting go and enjoying their company and not being the slave to my perfectionism. Okay so this perfectionist can be a bit of a CONTROL FREAK… that is probably something else I need to confess… wink, wink. The art of making people feel warm and safe and welcome in your home takes work.

So I guess I have to say it again, I am not perfect… ugh! I admitted it publicly twice in this blog! When it all boils down to the nitty-gritty, it’s a hindrance to my spotless home because it takes the beauty of wholesome family love away when I enslave everyone to my sub-standard too-high standard. So this is where flexibility and God’s timing and control have to come in. It has to be my replacement of the sin of perfectionism so that we will enjoy having people over and other people will enjoy coming over. God has to be the author of my day and I have to become hospitable and flexible no matter what the floor and oven look like and how high my stacks of paper are. If people love me then I hope they will overlook my mess and help me with it or only whisper about it when they get into their car.

So there it is y’all, confession #1 of The Ministry Mama!

Making Our Resurrection Activities Meaningful

I realize this is a bit late but I still wanted to share some thoughts I wrote out earlier last week but did not have an opportunity to post.

We are not an Easter egg family as far as providing them and doing a hunt in our home, primarily because I do not want our children to be focused on eggs and candy when we have so much to be thankful for in the Risen Saviour. We have been involved in several hunts this year and the kids really had fun running everywhere looking like little chickens. BUT…My desire is to teach them there is no other holiday that should be as exciting, not even Christmas. Our God came to earth, took the punishment for our sins, died, and then arose on the third day, conquering sin and the grave so that we could come to Him and receive forgiveness of sins. There is no greater gift! There is no greater celebration than that of knowing He did that because of His love and He will come again to receive those that believe on Him unto Himself.

We may not take part in the popular activities of certain holidays but that does not mean we are sitting back on our haunches while the rest of the world has a blast either. Christians do not have to miss out on the fun just because they are different or choose a different approach. All of that to say… that our family is not going to hold back our decorations, our activities, our thoughtfulness, our Scripture reading, our celebration! We are going to talk about it, read about, craft about it, and tell others about it. And I am going to do my best to make it exciting and fun…

You have probably been to some type of ceremony or boring class where you think to yourself, “let’s get all of this out of the way so we can have fun!” No, it is not in my nature to let our “traditions” become ho-hum. People naturally get attached to things that are the same, but my goal is to create great activities that help our children learn from God’s Word the wonderful significance of our Saviour. If you get bored with holidays and tired of all the parties and festivities, do not let this be the holiday that you push aside and forget about. Forget about another boring holiday instead (ahem, Earth Day)!

I’ve combed through Pinterest to find some ideas on activities we can do to celebrate the Resurrection of Christ and there are some great ideas out there! Then, there are the not so great ones but I like altering ideas to be more Christ-centered. And I have just been asking myself why there are so many websites done by non-Baptists that have wonderful activities that have to do with the Bible, including the Resurrection, but incorporate their doctrine and taint the purity of God’s Word. There are not many Baptists posting what they are doing with their families and encouraging people to put God into every aspect of their lives. I am going to do more to encourage Bible believers not to separate their beliefs from their holiday activities, to incorporate God more, and leave the traditions that leave God out, out!

Some people think I am a party pooper for not letting our kids do certain types of activities throughout the year and that is fine with me. We are fun, we are purposeful, we are integrating our beliefs from God’s Word into the holidays that are meaningful to us. We chose to eat fish one night and tell the kids about how Peter denied Christ and how Jesus came to where he was and stood on the shore and called out to him. Then they had a fish breakfast together and Jesus asked him if he loved Him and told him to feed His lambs. After they listened to the story the light turned on for them that we had planned that meal to tell a story.

One of the greatest gifts I received after going to Bible College was not only being in a Christian environment 24/7 but the gift of understanding, after going to public school my entire school career, that you can integrate the Bible into every school subject. God fits in science because He created the laws of science, He created the mathematical equations so He can show up in our math problems, He speaks about body and our health, and the importance of being wise with money in business. It was one of the wow factors, that I no longer had to separate God from school and only involve Him in home and church life. That is why I believe strongly in Christian education and doing things like taking special time out of our weeks and months and showing them how special God is. The gifts that He gave us can simply be learned through our spending time together as a family decorating the house and coloring a picture. It’s a wonderful thing to take the time to tie the strings to your child’s heart and allow them to ask questions in a safe environment about spiritual matters.

Not only are they growing from it, God is becoming more meaningful to me!

I would encourage you, not to go off the deep end but to choose an activity and find a special thing to merge God into the big picture of your holiday or choose a specific holiday and find new and creative Christ-centered activities to introduce into your traditions. If you do it right and plan it will make your special times together learning about God more meaningful!