Author: theministrymama

Pastors and Wives Share Your Burdens With Your Staff

2 Comments

share-your-burdens-withyour-staff

Today’s post is for those who are pastors and pastors’ wives… in my heart of hearts  I pray that this will be taken in the spirit of encouragement.

If you can name it and it has something to do with the church and its’ members then it can be a stress in the life of you and your family.  Any type of stressor can become a burden when you are unsure of how to deal with something…  or you are waiting in prayer for God to give you an answer so you can move on in faith. Church life definitely can come with baggage — that type of baggage that makes you want to stay in bed on church days  or hide in your office as service times begin. It is not uncommon for unwanted circumstances to come at you in waves and for you to feel inadequately prepared to deal with them in wisdom and a right spirit.

If I could have a heart-to-heart with pastors and their wives about church staff and faithful church workers I would say this: “Friends, don’t bear your burdens alone.” And then I would gently say, “Don’t discount your staff as being people who will not understand your burdens.”

Hey, I know I’ve never been a pastor’s wife (yet) and you can come up with an excuse on the reasons why you hoard burdens upon your shoulders, but please allow me to explain…

We have served beside others or communicated with peers and have seen people we loved keep us from comforting them. We could discern that the weight of the daily in’s and out’s of ministry were bogging them down and causing the spark in their eyes to dim to a depressive state of mind. Yet, for some reason when God brought us as comforters to their door with hands empty and ready to carry some of their load, they slammed the door on us. This left two families with burdened hearts (theirs and ours) instead of a common bond of brother/sisterhood and unity from sharing the weight in their hearts.

Allow God to send comforters to you,  who will be a blessing. 

Never assume that the only ministry family that is suffering and bearing the load of life and ministry is the pastor’s family. If you have church staff or you have laymen that are whole-heartedly invested in your ministry then they also carry the burdens of ministry and responsibility of meeting the needs of people on their shoulders. Sin in church members affects them and their hearts too, it can consume their thoughts and prayers also.

Others may never know the degree of weight you carry because the accountability of the pastor is greater, but remember responsibilities weigh on each person’s life. A burden is a burden. They may not know all the details of counseling sessions or the diligence required to do all things decently and in order while ministering as a shepherd (or shepherd’s wife). Do not minimize their heart’s burdens as insignificant in comparison especially when their burdens are linked to the same church family as yours.

The hands of ministry workers, staff, and volunteers are tied when you separate yourself in a class all of your own and elevate yourself to some level of never being understood because of a position. One person or couple should not be bearing all the burden alone. We are meant to bear one another’s burdens because it fulfills the law of Christ. Christ  took all sin of the world upon Himself as He died in our place, He understands the concept of bearing the burdens of others.

Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Church staff in specific situations can often bear a harder burden because of the pressure that is applied from the expectations of the pastor believing they will never understand. They may want to understand, and see how it burdens the pastor. They can recognize how sin puts a blanket on each ministry that is effected by imperfect choices. Do not discount them from being a source of help and encouragement! Most people are capable of genuinely being able to be compassionate in heart toward you. They can understand the behind the scenes knowledge that comes along with being closely involved in the work of the church and respect the need for keeping them in confidence.

“But, what if!?”

Part of bearing one another’s burdens is being humble enough to share. One worry is whether we are sharing our heart’s contents with those who are trustworthy and that is a legitimate concern.  Time can only tell you if you can trust someone. Keeping burdens upon our shoulders because of fearing what other people may say or do (without giving them a chance) is just that, fear. “What if they tell other church members what we’ve talked about?” It is always wise to use discretion in specific matters and to keep information private if it is required.

I feel like I have to make disclaimers all the time because in this world we live in. This message will not fit with every pastor/pastor’s wife and church staff situation out there. There are pastors and their wives who will continue to bear their burdens. There are staff members who will still struggle to feel as if they cannot connect with their pastor/pastor’s wife. Above all, do as the hymn by Charles Tindley  states, “Leave it there, leave it there. Take your burdens to the Lord and leave them there. If you trust and never doubt, He will surely bring you out. Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.”  God is our greatest burden-bearer. No amount of troubles overwhelm Him when we cast those cares upon His shoulders.

Some of you will try to share their burdens with their staff and might be misunderstood or your “fears” may come true when a staff member unwisely shares your information with other people. For those situations I am truly sorry. You might be robbed of a blessing and I would suggest this: Keep praying. Be sensitive enough to share those burdens with someone you are close to so they can help you bear them (ministry friend, family member, etc.). Then, when the time is right and the Holy Spirit gives you a nudge, take a risk again somewhere in the future and share a burden. Share your prayer request, visions for the future of your church/ministries with your staff, and allow them to see the human part of your spirituality that needs God’s guidance.

Taking a risk here and there is part of the growing process. You may just find that your church staff will do exactly what you need and help carry that load and strengthen you in the process. Remember: You found beneficial qualities in their lives or you would not have hired them! The possibility of sharing these matters may allow you to see God work in His mysterious ways to take care of these burdens… we never know what God will do when we join together in prayer for the problems going on in our church. We may actually see victories against sin, repair in relationships, and spiritual growth but the benefit is that they are shared victories and growth instead of just personal.

Eliminate some of your stress by casting your cares upon the Lord and having enough confidence in your staff to be able to share matters that are on your heart. You need it, they need it, and Lord willing, growth will happen in the process. Your work and ministry is valuable, don’t bog yourself down if you can let others walk and work with you.

 

 

To the Ministry Family Waiting for Daily Bread

2 Comments

waiting-for-daily-breadI’m talking to ministry folks who may be on the poor side of life right now. Those who are hungry and wondering where their next meal or week’s worth of groceries is going to come from.

Paul’s words in Philippians 4:12 express how so many of us feel, “I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” Our journeys through ministry life bring us to those hungry places.

To you who have a bare pantry and nothing but condiments in the refrigerator. Don’t be tempted to rush out and solve this problem yourself! Psalm 37:25 tells us David’s testimony of God’s work for His children.

I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.” Psalm 37:25

Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God

Lack of food can be a worry when you feel responsible and your kids are asking for something to eat. The Bible teaches us all Christians should make God and His Kingdom our first priority. Relying on God for food requires the rubber meeting the road and helps us practice what we preach/teach by living in faith.

Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? …for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.  Matthew 6: 31-33

You fill in the blank for what seeking the kingdom of God is for you. You know your own personal need for Bible reading, the ministries you have (including your family), and the opportunities God places for you to be a witness for Him. If all of your monetary resources are dry stop panicking and stay busy doing God’s work. Be satisfied with that obedience and, as stated many times throughout this article, wait on Him to take care of you.

Ask and ye shall receive

Luke 11 gives us a great explanation from Christ about how God gives to His children,

 “And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.  For every one that asketh receiveth; … If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?  Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” Luke 11:9-13

Simply ask, “God, you know we don’t have food for the week, will you please give us the next meal?” Then, wait in faith.

Give and it shall be given unto you.

My single mother worked hard cleaning houses and had just enough money for us to make it. Once I watched her go into our pantry and fill a box with food leaving our shelves nearly bare. She gave the food to our next door neighbor,  she was mean and hateful to her kids and had rejected my mother’s friendship with her.  Mom, in the middle of the night, left that box of food on her porch. Mom had the kind of faith that God would provide for us because we were His children. She taught me these verses: “ Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” Luke 6:38. God always rewarded her generosity and we never were hungry.

God happily blesses those who give, especially those who give in His name, to His people in their time of need. Allow your heart to stay soft toward others. Even in your “poverty” it is good to be in the practice of giving.

A Side Note: One danger in ministry is we may have knowledge at times about who the givers and non-givers are in our church because we are involved in the church finances. Guard your heart against becoming bitter at other families that may not be giving and are faring better than you while you may be struggling to feed your family. God takes care of His servants, so keep your eyes on Him!

Expect only God’s daily provision.

In the account of Elisha’s life in 1 Kings God directs him to the brook of Cherith. He provides him daily meat from the ravens. Then, as the brook dries up He directs him to lodge with the widow and her son. Miraculously her empty containers fill daily with meal and oil with just enough for them to eat that day.

In the account of Israelites’ journey in the wilderness God provided manna for them to eat daily for 40 years!  There’s no question God can accommodate you, it’s a matter of when. In the Lord’s prayer it says, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Daily bread, is what we are to pray for, nothing more, nothing less.

Fred and Christine, a couple we know, spoke about how when they were young Christians living in a tiny apartment on a tiny income. They met friends who lived downstairs and regularly both couples would be down to simple items in their pantry. Together they found out they could combine their resources and have a meal, one would bring a loaf of bread, another would supply tomatoes or meat and they would eat simple sandwiches and feast on fellowship. A little humility (admitting to a friend you only have a little) and a bit of creativity may create something delicious.

Don’t beg or broadcast, just wait in prayer.

Reading George Muller’s biography is a help to anyone needing encouragement in trusting God’s provision. He saw prayers answered for daily bread for the orphanage he owned in Germany. The food for the children would run out and each time they would pray specifically for that meal, God would uniquely give to them. When times were tough he would not beg or broadcast to anyone, he would pray. The best way to ask for what you need (like mentioned above) is to do it in your prayer time. Devote time you would ask others to pray for you into asking God instead.

Earlier I mentioned speaking with a friend about your situation in humility. Remember, that is not the same as purposefully dropping hints to other people expecting that they will hand you some cash or invite you over for dinner.  Worry often catapults us into asking others to take care of our needs instead of expecting God will. Always use your manners and courtesy, because ministry people do not need to be known as mooches. Prayer is most effective in these situations! When God answers your prayers, you cannot doubt His love.

Be wise with your money.

If you have ever gotten into the money pickle that leaves you with only pickles in your refrigerator then think about your money decisions that lead you to the money pickle… Making wise money choices can still leave you with no money at the end of the month to buy the last week’s worth of groceries, but being an unwise steward can also leave you with empty pockets to pay bills and buy food.

If you struggle in wisely managing your money:

  • Ask God for help!
  • Learn Biblical principles of money stewardship, do a Bible study or take a class.
  • Don’t stop tithing or giving in your local church.
  • Budget your funds.
  • Limit your splurges and stop spending needlessly.
  • Use what you already have.
  • Run from the temptation to use credit!

We err, as Americans, often in temperance (self-control) in this area of our lives and sometimes we suffer for our extravagance and make ourselves suffer needlessly. Dedicate some of your time to helping yourself become a wise steward.

In Conclusion

I cannot promise how God will feed you. If and when He does, praise Him and thank Him! Share your story of provision with others. AND I would love to hear your story, send me an e-mail and tell me what God has done!

psalm-37-25

 

The Ministry Mama’s Life Story in a Nutshell

For those of you who have not heard my life story before, I just wanted to share it in a different way…in a nutshell. In light of the current events for a woman’s right to choose, I challenge that thinking with the question, “What if I had never been born?” I celebrated my 34th birthday this week and my birthday always reminds me of why I love what God has done in my life.

My mom was a Christian and although single when she found out she was pregnant with me, she decided that instead of abortion or adoption she needed to keep me. She decided that in her realm of influence she had the assurance I would be growing up in church, listening to the Bible and being told about Jesus Christ and His salvation. I was born on a blizzardy Sunday in Texas.

life-story-testimony

Because I was in a Christian home and in church at an early age, my heart was tender toward God. At four years old the He began speaking to me about my sin and my need to accept Him as my Saviour. On one evening as my mom cooked spaghetti on the stove for dinner I asked her what I needed to do to be saved. She took time to talk to me about it and it was then that I accepted Christ as my Savior…Almost 30 years ago! We went through some hard times in my teens as she was divorced and then lived as a busy single mom. One comfort I always had was in knowing God was with me all along the way. He never left me or forsook me.

At twelve years old God spoke to me at summer camp about becoming a missionary and I surrendered to full-time service then. It was probably my junior or senior year of high school when I began to realize that saying you’re going to be a missionary when everyone else is choosing their ideas of what they wanted to be for their vocation was not the popular answer. I began to doubt my choice and stray away from the Lord in my heart and actions.

Despite some bumps in the road and some special miracles the Lord did on my behalf, I became a student at Bible College in the fall of ’01. The Lord began teaching and growing me in new ways although we were faithful church attenders all the way through my childhood. I studied missions and church education for 3 years before I was distracted enough by my husband in 2004 to quit school and go get married in a whirlwind of a weekend. It was 3 years (while I was having our boys) before we completed college in 2009 together. Those years were hard years on our marriage but we always had enough hope to keep on going.

A photo of my husband and I at a church event in 2010.

In the fall of 2009 the Lord led my husband to his first full-time ministry position and we served there for 5 1/2 years. Now we are serving in a new church plant while my husband works a secular job and does the same thing of leading music and teaching Sunday School as he did before.

I never became a missionary to little children in a foreign country like I expected to when I surrendered at 12, but God has allowed me to minister to not only our children but to hundreds of children through the years, as well as women, and families.

When I was 30 years old I met my father for the first time, you can read about it here. He and I have been able to build a good relationship together in the past few years when we had spent most of my life apart. I never expected that would have ever been true, but God has blessed us both despite having missed out on years of relationship time.

You know I’m not perfect and I can truly say after 34 years, the hardships and the things that I didn’t understand when I was a little girl or a troubled teen really have been situations where God took those broken pieces and circumstances and has turned them around for good, just like He did in the Bible story of Joseph.

I don’t know where this year is taking me but I hope that I can be as faithful to God as He has been to me.  Trusting Christ was the best gift I ever received because it has been the gift that has kept on giving in my life. Anything and everything I am is not only because my mom chose life, but because Christ has given me eternal life. Being a Christian is as much a part of me as taking my husband’s last name has been to me for the past 12 years. Having a relationship with Christ has made me who I am and who you know me as, The Ministry Mama, today. I hope that as you read this blog you see glimpses of Him.

Thank you for taking the time to read this as it just felt necessary to share why my birthday and my life is so important to me. It causes me to ask questions like this, “Who is the world missing out on?” an”d, “Who would God have used to do His work out of the millions who have been aborted? Only God knows. I hope and pray that if a mother who is expecting a baby and is unsure of whether or not to keep that baby that you will see my life was not easy but it has been blessed. It has been God who given strength, direction, and purpose to my life just as He has for yours. Choose life, it’s the best gift you could give to your child!