Tag: ministry

Q&A: Hospitality at Home

Hospitality at Home

Home hospitality is always interesting when you are in the ministry because while our home is our safety zone, it is also a place in which we can minister to others outside the church in a special way. The following questions are not particularly spiritual in nature but the answers are interesting and many have some wisdom contained in them and even some humor too.

Q: Is it proper to ask people what they like or don’t like to eat before having them over to your home for a meal? I find myself asking this because I’d rather them enjoy the food.

  1. “We typically check for dislikes and allergies. My husband, for instance, does not like most cheeses, so we appreciate when others ask and we can avoid awkwardness at mealtime.” ~C.D. #1
  2. “My wife does so religiously. I think it shows a true spirit of hospitality.” ~J.O.
  3. “I usually ask if there’s something they’re allergic to or don’t like. Most people will eat whatever not to be rude (which is right to do unless there is an allergy), but it’s nice to ask so they enjoy the meal and are not running away to McDonald’s as fast as they get away from your house.” ~C.D. #2

Q: We are so busy on Sundays that I really dislike having company over after church for lunch or dinner… should I try to have people over anyway? or try another day of the week?

  1. “It would depend on the reason. Is it because she has small children who need her and it’s a hardship on her family, or because she’s selfish and wants a nap just because it’s Sunday? I think too often younger preacher’s wives with small kids are trying to keep up with the older pastors’ wives who are at a different season in life and can do more in the ministry. We tend to forget that our family is our first priority. And, I would also tell her to ask her husband what he wants her to do.” ~C.D. #2
  2. “I know how you feel. I feel that way too very often. Sundays are hard. We are tired, but when we begin to make excuses like this are we really “ministering” to people or just showing up to do our job? Ministry at its very basic definition calls for serving through sacrifice. Sometimes that means missing my Sunday afternoon nap. Now, I’m not saying that every week you must have someone over for Sunday lunch. But what about once a month? And if Sunday lunch is too hard, what about snacks after the evening service? Through the week is great too, but I do feel that hospitality on occasional Sundays naturally lends itself to much more in-depth spiritual conversation. And, our children learn from us. Do we want them seeing our dislike for Sunday company? It just takes prayer and planning, but it truly is worth it.” ~K.M.
  3. “Don’t be afraid to say no. We have a life just like others. If it does not conflict with your schedule – say okay, but if you are worn out, kids are worn, and your husband needs rest, say no. Choose another day during the week.” ~R.F.

Q: Do you like people to pop by your house unannounced? or do you like to have a little notice?

  1. “Notice for sure, at least half an hour.” ~G.G.
  2. “A little notice is always nice, but sometimes a surprise friend showing up is the best!” ~R.A.B.
  3. “It depends on who it is for me. I like a little notice, so I can make sure my house is presentable to company. They are always welcome regardless of what the house looks like.” ~A.M.
  4. “I love it when people drop in.” ~C.W.
  5. “Especially since we have had a break-in, I am very wary of people at the door when I am not expecting someone. I may even have the house alarm set, so a ten minute heads up is good with me.” ~A.F.
  6. ” I think, and this is just how I think, that when a friend drops by unexpectedly, that friend trusts that they will be welcomed, since the ‘polite’ thing to do is give notice. They know that no matter the state of your house or what you’re doing, you’ll welcome them in gladly. I’d be thrilled if a friend just popped by because in my mind, it demonstrates trust.” ~J.H.
  7. “Notice is awesome, but I try my best to be ready…. I would never want to miss an opportunity to help someone in the moment.” ~A.N.
  8. “We moved to a small town last year and I am getting used to people popping in all the time. In the city, people would usually call before coming by, but here, my neighbors, church folks, and multiple kids stop by throughout the week. At first, it was awkward, but now I love having company! I have learned not to worry so much about my house and just focus on the person visiting. Love small-town life!” ~T.O.P.
  9. “No! If someone shows up at my house unnoticed they may not like what they see! LOL!” ~L.G.

If you are interested in contributing a question for our ministry Q&A blog posts, please contact me through e-mail!

Once upon a time I wrote an article about how I react when I find out guests are coming. The Lord has taught me that while I get ready for guests, I still need to value and be respectful to my family. Read The House Guest Shuffle here.

Beginning a College And Career Class

Beginning a College and Career Class

I was asked, “How do you start a College & Career Class?”

Normally I would not have had any idea but a few months ago we began a College & Career aged class and here are some things we did before we got started. While we are not long-term teachers of this age group, we have had regular attenders and slow growth. We only know how to do what has worked for us, so if these things are not beneficial for you or your church, then there are lots of other ideas out there that will fit in the Biblical way of church life.

  1. Talk to your pastor and get his approval for the class. Find out his vision for your class and the type of goals he has for your class. Determine the age group of your class with your pastor. Some classes range from 18-25, others go all the way up to age 30.
  2. Begin gauging interest in the people in your church and other people in your age group. Look for: Former members and regular attenders that have not attended your church in a while. Young adults that have scattered within the church attending other classes, staying in the youth group (those who have graduated early may stay in the youth group because they have nowhere else to go). Family members or friends of church members that might be looking for a college & career class and interested in Christian fellowship. People you run into in your community as you are out and about. Make a list of these people and use them for your prospect list.
  3. Visit your prospects at home or by calling them, etc. If people are interested in visiting the class, then go ahead with other plans to go forward.
  4. Schedule a class start date.
  5. Find a place within your church to meet. Prepare that location by cleaning it up, painting if necessary, find chairs, tables, curtains, etc. Make sure you create an  atmosphere for young adults to feel comfortable.
  6. Choose class name and logo if possible. The name and logo will be like your brand that goes on everything to help be your identifying mark for your class. Put your logo and name all over every letterhead, postcard, and artwork that will hang in your classroom.
  7. Write a letter to all of your prospects weeks before your start date, even if you have made an initial contact with them. Tell them what your plans are for the class, explain a bit about yourself, and encourage them to contact you if they have any questions or ideas.
  8. Announce your class and its plans before the church regularly so that they can help you and pray for you as you begin. If possible, have an announcement in your bulletin and on your church calendar.
  9. Begin praying about and planning the first lessons you want to teach your class.
  10. Make visits and phone calls the day before your class start date.
  11. Make final preparations for your classroom and prepare a snack or breakfast item for your first meeting. Consider having an ice breaker between your class members so they can get to know one another first thing.
  12. Make everyone feel welcome as they enter your classroom.
  13. Generate a heart for the people in your class. Some that will come to try the class out will not stay, but others will. Encourage your classmates to invite friends to come with them. Most people will stay in a class because of the teacher (and his wife), be the kind of teacher you would like to have, with a gentle spirit and understanding heart, and a manner about you that easily conveys the message God lies on your heart to teach them. Allow them to share prayer requests, ask questions, and be there for them if they need you.

Developing a God-centered College & Career class will take time, prayer, dedication, and effort, but these are our helps in a nutshell. There are many other good resources that will help you on the web, in books, and even from people who have taught their own College & Career class.  If you have any other ideas or thoughts please do not hesitate to leave a comment.

There is some good advice both spiritually and practical found on this webpage about starting a new adult class. http://www.sschool.com/content/adultstart.htm *

*Please note that I do not wholly agree with everything that is on every website that I suggest to be a help to you and your ministry but I believe this article has enough helpful information to be a benefit to you.

 

Good Expectations For Fellow Staff Members in Ministry

Good Expectations for Fellow Staff Members in MinistryThis post is addressed to staff members, not necessarily the pastor and his wife, but people who serve alongside a pastor with other staff families to help you know how to have good expectations with those you work with.

There is always transition of getting to know the people already working at the church or those that come into a position after you do. It takes time to know who they are and their personalities. Many people are disappointed with the personalities of their peers immediately while other people have a honeymoon of loving who they work with UNTIL (key scary dramatic music here) personality conflicts arise.

Being on church staff is no light matter.  Learning to have the right expectations of your fellow staff members will help you be able to manage relationships and seek peace. Without peace there is confusion and every evil work (James 3:16) and the church where you serve could be marred because of pride and feuding.

Have no expectations. Walk into every ministry position with no expectations of those around you. Don’t expect to be best friends with people or have them even be your mentor or best friend. This may seem to lack feeling but honestly, if we look at our disappointments in past problems with people it is usually because we thought someone else should be something they were not.

Each person and relationship you have with people on staff will help you grow in some way. Allow yourself some time to be able to see how it will play out.

If you walk away from your time of working together on staff with a beautiful friendship then praise the Lord. If however you walk away from your time with feeling differently, then embrace it as a learning experience.

Expect differences. Not every family is the same so allow that although you may work at the same church, be involved in many of the same ministries and work of the church, that you may have different ideas about ministry, family, and how to carry out those things.

We get this idea that everyone MUST be the same as us, and that is not true. God creates each person to fulfill their work in the body of Christ in his or her own way according to His purpose with the talents and abilities He has given them. If you see gaps of character remember He’s still working on all of us! Each person will have some thing(s) in their life that you will probably not like 100% and the situation and guess what, that is how they feel about us.

Allow the other people on staff to have the freedom to be who they are and do things in their own way.

It’s okay for them to be different, and if their differences bother you or offend, then you have two choices: A. Pray about it. B. Go to them in the right spirit and attitude and approach them Biblically. Discuss the offense and move on.

Older people will have their reasons why they do things because they have experience. Young people may have vision but they are gaining experience. Step back and accept their differences as a part of God’s plan for your life. Pushing your preferences and philosophies on people in an uncaring way will usually result in others closing the door on your influence. Gentleness in dealing with differences usually influences greater than harshness.

Expect them to voice their opinion. Listen to them and give their thoughts consideration. If another staff member shares their heart with you, please listen to them carefully. Use the two ears and one mouth rule, listen before you speak and dole out your advice. They just might need a listening ear and nothing else.

Others will forcefully give opinions, whether you like it or not. If they give you constructive criticism, thank them, and allow some time to think about what they have said and ask the Lord to help you know how you should use their words in a good way. God can use their perspective to help you in your ministries. If the advice is not godly or helpful, then keep on keeping on.

Please understand that I’m not addressing the issue of another person on staff having different doctrinal differences than you or your pastor. At times there are things that will breech relationships in context to the Word of God, but we should always be Christian ladies and gentlemen in how we also deal with these issues. If you are concerned about doctrinal differences that another staff member may have then it would be wise to consult your pastor about these concerns.

Expect to learn from them. Each person in ministry that has truly been called to do God’s work has value to God and His work. The other people on your church staff may not do things like you would, but they still have things they are doing right for the Lord.

Evaluate their work, to yourself, and make notes on what you like about what they are doing with the youth group, music program, ladies meetings,  etc. Put it in a file for later use. Ask them questions about how they accomplish what you like about their ministry.

Use your time together to benefit any ministry God could potentially call you to.

Expect to ask for forgiveness along the way. We are all guilty of pulling some crazy sinful stunts! If you have done something to hurt or offend your fellow staff member (or his wife, child, etc.) then it is your responsibility to make it right. It’s hard to humble yourself, but it will be worth it to keep the peace.

Problems can compound and you might not be liked by those around you if you are a frequent offender that does not admit the wrongs that you have committed toward others and try not to do them again. Repeat offenders can quickly make a small situation build up to be the elephant in the room that people do not know how to deal with.

Do you really want to make people feel awkward because you’ve caused a problem and you just won’t admit you’ve done something wrong and ask for forgiveness? I really hope not. If you don’t give a care, then I think there are some issues that need to be taken care of in your heart and with those you’re working with.

Final Thoughts

One of the biggest lessons you may learn from good relationships with fellow staff members is how to love people and minister to them in a different way than you would have without their perspective. One of the biggest lessons you may learn from bad relationships with fellow staff members is how NOT to treat people as you minister.

You may see the good, the bad, and the ugly from those you work with… but guess what, they see the good, bad, and ugly of you and your family too. Ministry is a unique situation because we expect that because we are Christians we will treat each other in the most logical and spiritual way possible 100% of the time. We must simply expect what God does out of people. God  knows we will be sinners and will sin even after our salvation and maturity occurs. Do not be so surprised when problems come. And never, ever, ever, allow minor things to prevent you from staying in the ministry God has called you to.

You may not choose who you serve beside but you get to choose how you will make the moments of your service together be. I dare you to choose right expectations and find the good in the people God has placed you with on this journey of your life!