I Don’t Want My Kids To Be a Rock Star

October 2, 2014October 2, 2014

Please excuse me, while I interrupt my normal writing and step on top of this soap box for a few minutes…

I keep noticing shirts, books, music, television shows, highlight the “glamor” of a rock star lifestyle to my children. As a Christian mother, I have to say, I don’t want my kids to be a rock star. Seriously, I thought this rock star phase would be over by now, but scrolling in search of books I spied a toddler level book about teaching your children to be Bible rock stars. Toddlers being rock stars? and Bible rock stars at that!?

Why does this just seem so wrong? Because it is…I understand the phrase is popular, but the idea, to me is just not Bible-centered. The Bible does not have anything to do with being a rock star. There will be no Bible rock stars at my house.

You do not have to accept the world’s philosophy as it seems crammed down your throat in every store in the clothing and toy section. It isn’t enough that they target young and older adults to find acceptance through singing songs that appeal to the “old” man (Romans 6:6). But little kids!? It is just another way for Satan to begin grooming children for his desires for their future.

Frankly it all boils down to parents in my generation and what they like. Whatever they like they give to their kids. It doesn’t matter whether it is Biblical, it matters whether it’s cool, popular, and most importantly nostalgic.

Children many times do not know any better. They are young and innocent and will accept things without knowing the meaning behind them. Many parents will guffaw at the thought of me writing about this, but honestly, if our children were to leave home and pursue a lifestyle that embraced the world and threw their “Christian upbringing” behind, then they would hit their knees in prayer pleading for their return. Or maybe like many people I’ve seen, they would applaud their efforts for using the talent God had given them in almost every other venue and not for the Lord in their own church.

My Concern

Minimizing the subtle tactics of Satan, may be maximizing your child’s potential for not loving God with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Yes, I realize, we can make mountains out of mole hills and mole hills out of mountains, but what will it take for many of us to stand up and protect our children from society’s pressure of making them the product opposite of God’s plans for their lives?

A toddler will not necessarily understand the board book they are reading says “Baby Rock Star,” but it’s the next step of buying the rock star shirt, doll or Lego set, or the fast paced guitar strumming video game. Are kids viewing these things as acceptable because we allow it little by little? It takes simple choices of seeing the rock star mentality creeping in and eliminating the influences. It may be that you have to redirect your child at the shopping rack, toy department, or video game area or replace things you already have at home that are promoting things contrary to God’s Word. The Holy Spirit will lead and guide you if you will allow Him to.

Changing Our “Inside” Influence

Most of us do not have to make huge changes in our lives to ensure the safety of our children when it comes to outside influences… but when it comes to the inside influence of ourselves we make exceptions. We need to be reading the Bible and applying its principles of protecting and guiding our children AND ourselves. We are the guardians of our children, the fences of protection and shields of their hearts, minds, and bodies. But how can we protect them to the fullest sense if we are allowing those things into our own lives by the music we listen to, places we go, and things we watch, and items we buy?

But That’s Not All

It really isn’t all about society’s rock star exaltation, there are all types of lures that Satan is using to entice our children. You may not battle Guitar Hero but you may battle the exaltation of sports, fashion, extremely popular children’s movies or books, you fill in the blank. The enticements are not just coming from outside sources though. C’mon, too often they are originating from us, as parents, and our indulgences instead of our holiness.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” I don’t want my kids to be a rock star because I don’t want them to be adult rock stars. Their hearts require my diligence, because out of those little hearts come the issues of life. God forbid that my negligence in allowing something that was even borderline between righteousness and unrighteousness would be where the lure of their downfall began.
Consider the Biblical example of Abraham and Lot. Where did Lot get a taste for Sodom? In Egypt where Abraham took him in one of his flights in fear.

Many people would roll their eyes and say, “It’s all about balance, letting kids be kids and do the things that kids do.” We need to be making the deposit of Biblical influences greater in our children’s lives greater than the weight of the world’s influences. You’re right, it’s about the type of balance. Our child’s balance should contain so much of God that the world’s influences will never outweigh the amount of love they have for the Lord.

The Christian Life is Best because of Christ

I want my kids to know that the Christian life is more exciting than a rock star’s life!

A rock star’s music speaks to the flesh, God’s music speaks to the heart.

A rock star lives a life in front of people lonely for true friendships. A child of God serves people and always has God to walk beside them and good Christian friendships too.

A rock star seeks to please others through their fashion and music. A child of God seeks to please God through their obedience.

A rock star uses money for indulgences. A child of God earns money to take care of their responsibilities and minister to others.

A rock star loves the roar of the crowd at a concert. A child of God can feel content with serving God even when they are alone. They can feel satisfaction from hearing the still small voice of God throughout their lifetime and someday, Lord willing, will hear “Well done, thy good and faithful servant.”

A rock star lives in pursuit of personal gain. A child of God lives in pursuit of God. Period.

A rock star uses his talents to woo people to buy albums so they can get money in their bank to fulfill their heart’s desires. A child of God uses his talents to woo people to Jesus Christ and minister to the hearts of those who are already saved. God then fulfills their heart’s desires.

My Final Thoughts

We are not superior to any type of people who choose to live a rock star lifestyle. But for the grace of God, I could be in that situation doing that very thing. Righteousness is not even obtained through what we do or do not do. It is given to us at salvation in exchange for our sinfulness. Our children do not know the perils that lie ahead of them in this life or the tactics Satan will try to maneuver against them. Please guard your own heart so that you can be wise enough to guard the hearts of your child(ren).

I will get off my soap box now and walk quietly down the sidewalk of life again… until I see another Bible rock star book for toddlers. (wink, wink)

I Saw You When You Did Not See Me

September 29, 2014September 28, 2014

In a local fast food chain, my husband, went in to order our Sunday night “taco feast” and stood in line behind a man he was familiar with. As my husband stood there quietly the married man, loudly and openly flirted with the young cashier in his church clothes. Without his wife and daughters present he fell into a casual cool personality that brought a lot of attention to himself. Finally completing the order, my husband stuck out his hand and told him he knew his in-laws being members of our church. His boisterous tone went placid in their brief conversation.

On the road home waiting in the two-lane left turning lane, I was about 6 cars back on the right side when my neighbor was the first car on the left side. I wondered if he would be going home like we were since he was in the opposite lane to turn into our neighborhood. When the light turned green, his car raced through the turn at lightning speed and quickly changed into the right hand lane and turned ahead of me into our neighborhood. Maybe the incident was not much of a thing, but it surprised me that he was speeding so recklessly when he is a foster parent of multiple children and the member of a very conservative type of church. He was alone in the car, but I saw him when he did not see me.

Another day on the road, I was on the way to the zoo, minding my own business driving the speed limit. A red SUV quickly came up and rode my bumper. In traffic the person was not able to pass me, so they stayed right there impatiently trying to push me forward in the traffic. This type of driving stresses me out because I do not like to bother people, even while driving. I stepped it up another 5 miles per hour, but the person remained on my bumper until finally there was an opening and they swerved around me. This time is was not someone we knew, but this person had the bumper sticker of a popular church in our area shining off their back window. This is not an uncommon occurrence in our area, these people with this church’s brand are regular road offenders, reflecting their level of spirituality through their driving.

It is these small impressions that we can give in the moments of our life when we believe we are all alone and no one will recognize us and we will have no accountability. God is watching, but perhaps, someone else is too. Our testimony can be ruined in one display of bad character to a person who only knows us as an acquaintance or knows we have a connection with God and Christianity. Or maybe all they have to see is our bumper sticker to know we are a Christian.

The world despises hypocrites and evil men relish in the failures of people who call themselves God-fearing individuals or claim particular denominations. Some people seek pleasure in seeing a godly person fall and taking that fault and gossiping about it with an intent to cause Christ to look weak and ungodly, like they are.

I Thessalonians 5:21-23 says, “Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Someone Sees You

There is a little story in The Book of Virtues about a little girl whose father takes her with him as he goes to steal his neighbor’s wheat. He tells her to warn him if someone sees him. Each time he is in the act of stealing she warns him, “Someone sees you,” so he hurriedly moves on to the next location to steal more wheat. Finally after the third field and repeated warnings from the little girl he cries in exasperation, “I’ve looked everywhere and I don’t see anyone.” To which she replies, “Someone sees you from above.*” Not only did God see that man stealing but he allowed his daughter to witness it also.

You may know how tempting it is to even go on vacation and let loose a little bit from the standards that you maintain in your home or in your church.

I want to encourage you to be the same everywhere you go and in everything you do.

Do not compromise your standards or even your preferences for momentary pleasure, justifying why something is alright in one instance and not in another. We do not know who is watching. Not every person that would recognize us would even say a word to us if they saw us doing something in their mind that was questionable but they will form an opinion about us and Jesus Christ too.

So I urge you to hold fast to that which is good, and abstain from evil (even in your driving), and keep yourself blameless.

It may not be that we always have the eyes of strangers peering in on our lives as we are “secretly” holding fast to that which is wrong and only abstaining from evil things when others are not around. It may not only be God seeing everything from above, usually children and spouses can pick up on whether we are blameless or not. They get the insider’s view of our lives sometimes to their own detriment because our actions become a stumblingblock (Romans 14:13).

Bringing It Home

So, I’m asking you to consider your life and ask yourself whether you are being consistent all the way through each and every thing you claim to be and teach others to be also. Are you honest? Are you justifying sin even on a “small” level and excusing it in secret or in front of your family? Are you living a righteous life even when you travel? Will you maintain your testimony even away from accountability?

We have the job as a Christian to be a consistent follower of Jesus Christ each and every day of our lives no matter where we are or what we are doing. With all my heart I hope that when others see us that they will see us living out a good and blameless life of generosity and godly character.

* Bennett, William J. The Book of Virtues. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1993. 604.

21 Sweet Gift Ideas for Your Pastor’s Wife

September 22, 2014September 21, 2014

Hey, Hey! My guess is that if you’re reading this you’re a blessing to your pastor’s wife or you’re a pastor’s wife curious to know what “sweet” gifts are on this list.

I always want to encourage you to consider your pastor’s wife’s likes and interests. While I humorously keep mentioning chocolate throughout this list, if your pastor’s wife does not like chocolate or is allergic, the gift will be a waste. You want to give your pastor’s wife a sweet gift that she will enjoy and delight in, and want to use for the purpose you’ve given it to her. For her, to use for herself!

On a sweet note, let’s get to this enjoyable list!

21 Sweet Gifts For Your Pastor’s Wife

1. Chocolate – need I say more?

2. Make a Cupcake Bouquet. Find an easy tutorial at 52KitchenAdventures.com.

3. A Sweet-Smelling Candle or Wax for a Wax Warmer

4. Lotion

5. Perfume

6. Scented Hand Soap

7. Flowers – Think of a fresh bouquet, a floral arrangement, a flowered scarf, or another cute floral find.

8. Essential Oils – these are very popular and come in different sweet smells.

9. Her Favorite Candy. Perhaps, it’s chocolate?

10. A Fruit of the Spirit Devotional book.

11. The Choice is Yours book by Terrie Chappell (It has cupcakes on the cover, and aren’t cupcakes sweet?)

12. Baked goodies – chocolate cake, chocolate chip cookies, brownies, chocolate cream pie, you get the idea! Check out this free printable gift tag on Positively Splendid that says “Life is Sweeter Because of You.” It would be cute to add to a box of baked goodies.

13. Honey and Tea with a Tea Cup and Saucer.

14. A Gift Card to an Ice Cream Shop or a Frozen Yogurt Place.

15. Sweet Drink – she might like something sweet like lemonade or raspberry tea.

16. Flavored Syrup(s) for teas and coffee. If you like to drink coffee yourself, then see the next item.

17. Take her out for coffee and dessert and treat her like a sister.

18. Sweet Words – Never underestimate the power of sweet words! Proverbs 16:24 “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”

19. Your Sweet Spirit – Having a sweet attitude toward your pastor’s wife will be a blessing to her and help her have a sweet spirit toward you.

20. The Sweetness of your Friendship – At times in the course of ministry life, each pastor’s wife really need quality friendships outside and inside their church. Your friendship and availability is a way to help relieve stress. Be a friend at church by being a great volunteer. Be a friend outside by having a listening ear and a learning heart about her.

21. Oh, and don’t forget about more chocolate!

Here are some other great ideas on how to be a blessing to your pastor and his wife: